Tear me from the inside
by sentinel10
Summary: A story of a brother's love, the risks he'd take to keep his sister and the blurring lines of a love which could set them both on fire. Warning: Lemons. Adopted Sibling.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ I ]

...

"You really got to stop this Lee" Seth sighed, prying the bottle of top shelf vodka from her hands as she slept. "Stop hurting yourself sis" He whispered, kissing her forehead lightly and brushing the hair from her eyes.

It was just another day. Another day of pain. Leah's pain. Seth's pain. I really didn't matter anymore whose pain it was, just that it hurt. Deeper than any needle, deeper than any cut. It hurt all the way down to the bones. The hurt that you don't believe exists until the day you feel it. The type that doesn't go away with drugs nor alcohol or with sleeping with half of the town. If anything, those things seem to just... amplify it.

By the time morning came, and Leah woke, Seth was gone. He'd always been an early riser and he'd always make sure to leave before she woke. No brother wanted to see his sister willingly throw her life away. No brother wanted to be the one to pick her up from the side of the road, drunk out of her mind, with some loser's fingers working there way up her skirt. No brother wanted to have to leave his sister at the hospital from an apparent drug overdose, to go back to his shift with Charlie, to do the same all over again with some one else's sister.

It was a losing battle, because there were no winners. No game. No dice. Only her. Her and her pain.

Whining softly Leah kicked the chair out of her way as she washed her face in the bathroom basin. The mirror in front of her had been smashed and no matter how many times Seth replaced it, she would just re-smash it. She wanted to see what she looked like. Really looked like. Under the skin. Under the surface. She wanted to see her soul, and looking into the shattered mirror, was the closest she'd ever come to seeing it.

Using the toothbrush to wash out her mouth that was filled with the stain of alcohol, the stain of men, she spat loudly into the sink, watching as the soapy messy ran down the drain. There were streaks of mascara running down the white basin along with smears of lipstick but she didn't care. Turning the tap off she grasped the white towel and wiped her face and mouth, grimacing at the slight shadow of make up still coming off.

Looking down at herself she sighed. She was still wearing the same dark blue jeans and white silk top she'd left the house 16 hours earlier in. Instead of taking a shower like normal person, she stripped off her clothes and tossed them into the hamper. Washing day was Thursday so she knew she'd still have something reasonable lying around knowing it was Monday morning. Or was it Tuesday. Fuck it. It didn't really matter what day it was.

Walking through the house, as naked as the day she was born, she stopped at the linen cupboard looking from the packet of Dunhill's she'd stashed there. Seth put up with a lot of her shit, but smoking wasn't one of them. He detested the 'cancerous sticks' and managed to scope out the house and find each packet before she could enjoy a sweet hit.

"Stupid Seth" She grumbled, digging her hands behind the bed sheets and extra towels. Finding her target, she pulled the small grumbled packet from the back, almost in glee. Her brother, the 'cop', had yet to find these babies. Stalking back to her room, she rumbled through her underwear draw finding her small sliver flick lighter. Placing the white butt at her lips, she sparked the end and drew in a shaky bout of air. "Shit that's good" She sighed, leaning the cigarette holding palm against her forehead and rubbing her stomach.

There were still tiny little scratches on her stomach and hips from Collin. The small moon crescent shapes where positioned exactly right for anyone to be able to tell he'd been holding them tightly, more often than not breaking the skin. Like she cared. Maybe she'd walk past his wife's ugly little coffee shop in low rider jeans and a high cut top. Show his wife what she was able to give her husband. Show her why he has been disappearing in the middle of the night. And why. Why oh why, of all people, would he crawl into a sluts window and fuck her brains out calling out her name and not his wife's.

The little fucker was pretty impressive too. Stupid cheating bastard!

Stretching out, Leah butted the last of her cig out on the sill of the window and flicked it out on to the grass. Looking down at her packet she grimaced. Only one left. Time to take a trip down to the store.

"Damn" She whispered, really hoping that Embry was working. Every other bastard would tell her goodie two shoes brother that she was buying cigarettes again and then he'd really be pissed. The last time Seth went a total ape shit and kicked her out. She'd resorted to sleeping down at the Rez's playground, finding no other place to stay. The men she fucked were either married or ashamed to be with her and there was no way in hell they would give her a bed for the night. She roughed it for a couple of days before Seth found her asleep on the slide and carried her to the car in the middle of the night. He didn't say anything the next day, as she suspected, and they carried on like nothing ever happened.

Pulling on some underwear and faded grey jeans, coupled with one of her many grunge T-shirts, she headed for the door. Instead of opting for her usual black sneakers, she reached down and grasped her father's old military boots and slipped them on. Pulling a parka from the coat hanger she pulled it on tightly and slammed the door as she left. It was cold as fuck but she didn't care. She liked the cold; it made her feel in some sorts - alive. More alive than she'd felt in years.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ II ]

...

"Asshole" Leah grumbled as she sucked her index finger after slicing it on the packet of lackeys she'd tore open in the store. Placing one of the black bands in her mouth she collected all the black hair that was laying against her back, slinging it up high and tying the band tightly. An old woman in the stored watched her step over the dis-guarded packet on the floor with a grimace on her face. "What?" Leah spat, glaring darkly at the old bag as she passed. As she suspected, the woman did nothing but tilt her nose in disgust and tighten the hold on her handbag.

"Old bitch" Leah muttered, diverting her attention from the woman to look over the shelving. She desperately hoped that Embry was sitting at the counter with his stupid smile and no doubt his dick in his hand, ready to serve her. Sure, she used the fact that Embry Call had the hots for her, to her advantage. Even though she was just seventeen and he looked like he was twenty five, she knew he was on the virgin wagon. The guy was cute, with his little dimples and his swooping fringe, but anytime a female would get close to him, he'd just about wet his pants. The guy was so nervous, he needed to bloody loosen up. He was like a ticking time bomb, about to explode on some sorry ass girl's hand. But still, Leah did feel a little bad for the guy and when he asked her out a couple of times, it wasn't like she was going to deny a free meal and time away from her brother, stuck in the prison cell she called her house.

"Hey Lee" Embry said excitedly from behind her, mop in hand, kicking along a bucket.

"Oh shit" Leah almost shouted, grabbing her chest and taking a deep breath. "What did I tell you about the sneaking thing Em?" She scolded, her eyes darting all over the place.

"Sorry" He mumbled, his face dropping immediately.

"It's fine. Hey-" She said softer this time. "What time to you serve on the counter?" She said low and almost whisper.

"Why?" He asked cocking an eyebrow.

"I've run out of Dunhill's." She explained, tapping the pocket where she'd stashed her last stick.

"Ohhh... so you've come to use me to buy you cigs?" He said glumly, shuffling the mop bucket with his foot.

"Hey now... no, no... You got it wrong. Yes, I do need them, _but _I was also coming to ask if you wanted to grab some... shit... coffee or whatever?" She said shrugging her shoulders. That had been a really bad lie, and if Embry wasn't gunning for it so much he would have seen straight through that beauty.

"Cool. Well let me get my jacket." He grinned, ear to ear almost stumbling over the mop bucket. "Shit" He hissed straightening himself out.

"Don't forget-"

"I won't Leah. I'll just buy them myself." He called back.

"Do you want the money?" She asked reaching into her jacket pocket to pull out the multitudes of one dollar bills.

"Nah... Save it. Coffee's on you" Damn he was excited. It made Leah feel bad all over again. Embry was a good guy. A sweet, funny, weird and strange guy but never the less - good.

* * *

Walking down the main strip of town, both with an extra froffy cappuccino in hand, Embry continued to laugh. "Really? You mean she just threw her drink all over you?" He exclaimed with a snigger.

"Hey, not funny" Leah chuckled back, bumping his shoulder. "But seriously, that bitch didn't know what hit her next. I may be small, but this right hook-" She said kissing her knuckles. "-this baby can do some damage"

"I bet it can" Embry breathed, looking ahead and letting the calm silence slip over them again.

"So... Seth came to the store the other day looking for you... he said you'd been missing for two days" Embry asked cautiously, watching as she merely nodded her head.

"I got into some trouble and had to - _work _- my debt off, you know?" She said quietly, cupping her warm styrofoam cup in her hand. Embry's brows knitted together as she spoke; wandering what kind of _work_ she actually had to do.

"You know Lee - if you ever get into trouble, you can always come to me right? I'll always have a bed for you-"

"Why, so you can fuck me like all the others?" She said darkly, turning her face away from him. "You could just _ask _you know" She said softly. "If you want to fuck me, you can do it with out lying"

"Leah" Embry growled, stopping her by grasping her upper arm. "I don't want - _that _- from you."

"Well what exactly _do _you want Embry? I mean, this being nice bullshit, this 'having coffee stuff'. Tell me, what _exactly _do you want from me?" She yelled, exploding in front of him. "You want me to suck you off? Fine... here let me help you" She said reaching for his belt buckle to strip it free.

"Leah _stop _- what the hell are you doing?" Embry panicked, darting his eyes up and down the street only to see it filled with wander eyes landing on them both.

"You want me to suck your dick right? Get it all wet? Well, what the fuck are you waiting for... let's see it"

Embry shook his head and turned from her, throwing his coffee in the bin and walking back towards the store. "You're just going to walk away?" She screamed at him, as he pulled the collar of his parka up, to cover his neck. "Well fuck you too, asshole" She screamed, throwing her coffee in his direction, only to have it land meters behind him.

"Leah - what the fuck?" Seth yelled, stepping out of his cruiser, just witnessing her throwing her coffee at some guy.

"Oh great, its hero Seth come to save the fucking day. Hey everybody, look - Seth's here, its fine now. Everything is just fine and dandy."

Seth watched as his sister danced around the area in mock contemplation, screaming at the top of her lungs. "Well arrest me officer, take me in" She spat, holding her wrists together and shoving them in his face.

"Leah, you need to calm down right _now_" Seth warned glaring at his sister who looked like she'd just jumped off the loony express.

"Why Seth _why_? Why should I calm down? Isn't it all butterflies and fucking sunshine?" She screamed, tearing at her jacket and throwing it to the ground.

"That's it" He snarled, grabbing her by the shoulders to restrain her. "Donny, get out and help me" Seth barked tackling his sister and holding her down on to the pavement and reaching for his cuffs. "Stop moving Leah" He yelled as her legs kicked from beneath him.

Donny Walters his partner came from around the driver's side, and he immediately knew something was wrong. "Seth man, get off her" Donny yelled, moving towards the restrained woman.

"Hell no, she'll just run away again." Seth explained, pushing her shoulder's down harder.

"No man, seriously get off her, I think she's having a fit" Donny explained, pushing Seth, who was straddling his sister's thighs, off of her to twist her over.

"Holy shit" Seth breathed, watching as Leah's body convulsed and squirmed, her eyes rolling back and a white froth seeping from her lips. Seth's eyes flicked to his partner as he sat frozen on his knees.

"This is car 4. We need emergency medical assistance to outside 'The Farmer's Barn' on Main Street. Female, 17, possible epileptic fit. We need an ambulance with any kind of specialist aboard. May also be from-" Donny eyes glanced at Seth out of pity before he spoke again into his shoulder talkie "- a drug and/or alcohol overdose, detainee was acting irrational and unreasonable before being pinned to the ground, over"

Only mere seconds flew by before radio called back. "Roger, Car 4, we have an ambulance coming to you right away."

Seth sat on his hunches as he watched Donny turn a still seizing Leah on to her side, placing his hands under her head, to stop any damage the pavement might make.


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ III ]

...

"How are you Leah?" She heard a voice sound from behind a fog. Fluttering her eyes she attempted to sit up only to feel like something was holding against her wrists. Blinking more fluidly now, she looked down at her wrists, pulling them up and noticing a belt around them. Some asshole had strapped her to the bed. Pulling her wrists up again, she jerked up, watching the belt not move an inch and just remain.

"What the fuck is this bullshit?" She hissed, kicking her legs and turning from side to side, struggling with the straps. It made her hands feel warm and even though they were on her wrists she felt like she couldn't breathe. They were suffocating her, pinning her down on to the bed and strangling the life out of her. Her body felt hot against the cool of the sheets, yet her fingers felt ice cold. "Get. It. _off_" She screamed, her hair spraying out around her head and whipping at the sides off her face as she struggled.

"Relax Leah, you have to relax. It's for your safety. You came in extremely agitated" The voice said again, rubbing a cool cotton swab over a spot in her arm she'd previously felt a prick in.

"No. Nononononoooo! Let me go." She screamed kicking off the blanket and tugging at the belts, reefing her hands up to make the side rail of the bed tremble.

"Shhh, it will all be over soon. Quiet now" The voice whispered in its low calm tone, softening over her like a cool breeze.

The fog was too thick, too dense to fight against. It was engulfing her, swallowing her whole and making it feel as if it was pressing down on her chest. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't. She tried and failed. Tried again. And failed. "Make it stop" She gurgled groggily, feeling the weight pull down over her eyes. It was eating her alive. Why did the darkness want to make love to her? Touch her all over her body? Feel the warmth inside her?

Ebbing out a coarse moan, trying desperately to hold on to the sight of beautiful sunlight, she slid back, hard and fast, against the wall of darkness.

The darkness always did like her best.

* * *

Seth sat with his head in his hands, his elbows feeling like they were becoming permanently attached to his knees. His head was throbbing and his mouth was dry. The smell of the hospital made him sick. The antiseptic washes, the pine smelling disinfectant, the eerie smell of the sick and dying. The possible dead. It was all disgustingly familiar and it filled his body with terror.

Glancing across the cold plastic chairs he saw Embry Call, the boy from the store, staring at the ground and bouncing his legs on the balls of his feet. He was nervous or impatient, one of the two. Seth being a cop wondered why he was at the hospital. Had something happened to his mother?

Seth knew the boy barely had any friends in town and the only person he was close to was his mother. He'd had several call outs to the Call residence a few years back, and had to take down a man in the residence who was beating on a wailing Leanne Call. The woman had ended up with stitches along her neck and a broken wrist. Leanne had a restraining order placed against the man and since then Seth hadn't heard much from that end of the Reservation. Even though his main jurisdiction was Forks he's office was still in charge of keeping an eye on things. LaPush had their own law enforcement run by the local enforcer, Billy Black. Billy had two guys working for him, that would patrol and keep things calm and even Seth himself was answerable to them. Native Law dealt with things differently and if he and Leah were living on the reservation, they would have to abide.

Seth's head shot up, as a doctor walked out in a white coat, a clipboard held tightly in his hands.

"Leah Clearwater?" The doctor asked, standing in the entrance.

"Yes" Seth said standing and walking over to the doctor to shake his hand. As he shook the doctor's hand and introduced himself, he noticed that Embry was also now standing and fidgeting his fingers nervously. Seth, raising an eyebrow to the male questionably, watched him as he sat back down slowly, and his eyes once again trained firmly to the white lino of the hospital ground.

"My name is Carlisle Cullen. Let's take a seat" The doctor said calmly, motioning for the officer to sit.

"I'd rather stand" Seth said, staring at the doctor as he nodded.

"Okay Mr Clearwater. Leah is stable right now but we have had to sedate her with a strong sleeping aid. Her stats are all okay, except for one." The doctor took a breath and continued. "Once she was brought in, doctors did an MRI and a full body scan, along with several blood tests to find out what exactly caused the seizure she experienced. The seizer and irritability were caused by a long delayed after effect to amphetamines. Not only did we find trances of amphetamines in her blood, but the scan detected a growth in her body-"

Seth took a sharp breathe and closed his eyes. He could feel his pulse throbbing in his forehead, and a slight case of vertigo creep in. This was the last thing he needed to hear. After months of being stuck in the hospital with his mother when she was sick, it felt like all of it was coming back, all of the dread and all of the emotion and painful memories. Back to when he was a 20 years old.

_Flashback_

Seth sat on the small chair, his hand over his mother's as she drowsily opened her eyes. "You comfortable mom?" He whispered, stroking her hand and looking up at her.

"I'm fine honey" She smiled, her lips a faint blue colour and her eyes set deeply, the dark rings circling them and making her appear so weak.

"I'm scared" Seth whimpered, laying his head down on the edge of the bed, letting Sue run her shaky hands through his thick dark hair.

"I know you are baby" She sighed, her fingers making feather strokes over her oldest child's hair. Seth had always been the most reliable person in the world and his mother knew that it was now or never that she made sure that her children would be happy and that they would stay a family. Even though Seth had been adopted before Sue found out she could actually have children, he was her son none the less. He was a Clearwater through and through.

"Mom-" He breathed, closing his eyes feeling the hot tears run down his face.

"Seth - you have to do something for me. You have to promise me -" She gulped, looking over at a 14 year old Leah who was curled up on a recliner near the door, her arms wrapped around her knees and her face shoved into a yellow pillow covered in tiny ducks. Her baby girl was always so emotional, always jumping to conclusions. Leah had always been a fighter and Sue knew know more than ever, if they didn't stand together, they would fall.

"_Anything_-" He replied letting the tears hit the bed as she continued to stroke his hair just like she did when he was a child. A child never forgets his mother's hands, whether they are strong or weak, small or big, soft or firm, every child knew their mother's hands like it were their own.

"Did I ever tell you the story of when Leah was born?" She asked, slowly feeling his head shake under her palm. "When Leah was born you sat in the waiting room with your father, nervously biting your nails, a habit which I am glad to say has now gone. You sat out there so patiently, just waiting. Waiting to see your baby sister, waiting to hold her in your arms and smile down at her. When you came into the room, your father kissed me and you slowly crept over to her bassinet. She was sleeping so quietly and you reached down to touch her little hands. You know what you said Seth?" Sue said breathlessly, fighting to take a large gulp of air.

Seth sat upright and helped his mother place the mask back over her face to help her breath better. "You don't have to tell me mom, you need rest"

"No" Sue snapped, determined to finish. Slowly she grasped Seth's hand and placed it on her heart. "You told her that she was the most perfect sister you could ever ask for. You said that you would be there every step of they way. That you loved her even though you wanted a baby brother. You promised her no matter what, she would always be the most special person in your life. That you would protect her from anything-" Sue gasped again, a small tear running down her cheek.

"What are you saying mom?" Seth asked, feeling her hands trembling around his as she held his hand against her chest.

"I need you to honor that promise - _now _- more than ever. I need to know that you'll be there when I am not. That you'll protect her, when I can't"

"Mom no..." Seth whimpered, shaking his head and placing it in her lap, his hands immediately grabbing the blanket around her legs and fisting it, in a sense, trying to hold on to her.

"I need to know that Leah will always be the most important thing in your life once I die" Sue said softly.

"You're not going to die" Seth growled his head shooting up and looking straight into her eyes. "You're not going to die, you're going to get better... you're going to fight this and win"

"Oh Seth -" Sue sighed shaking her head. "Honey... you've always kept your hope. You've always made sure to look on the bright side of everything... why should I ever expect differently?" She breathed, showing him a small smile.

"But Seth you are very naive if you think I am going to walk out of this hospital. Just be glad I've lived the life I was given. I loved your father, both of you children... so much. But honey, there's a line between living and just... existing. I couldn't have asked for more in my life than what I had, and I am very grateful for the two of you-" She whispered, her breathing becoming a little shallower as she brushed Seth's tear stain cheeks with her thumbs.

"- but there's a time to get go of all things in this world. You have to let me go baby, you have to be happy that we spent, what time we did, with one another. You have to let me go Seth... you have to tell me its okay, because you'll always be there for Leah and her for you. You have to tell me its okay to see you're father and that you won't be upset or mad at me."

"I'll always look after Leah but I can't-" Seth choked, leaning his face into her palm. "-I can't let you go"

"Oh Seth don't you see" Sue smiled, glancing over at Leah. "You already did"

_End Flashback_

"What is it doc?" Seth asked, his teeth gritted and tight together, his jaw pulsing as it locked shut.

"Mr Clearwater, I am sorry to say... we found a 'ductal carcinoma' in her left breast."

Seth took in a shaky breath and felt his eyes lids flutter. "What stage?" He asked, knowing already far too much about the disease than a twenty four year old should.

"Its stage three" The doctor breathed placing his hand on Seth's shoulder. "We aren't sure whether surgery will help or if we should commence radiation treatment. I'll have more information in the next hour. Her cells are being cultured at the moment."

"She's having the surgery!" Seth said firmly, getting to his feet and straightening his shirt not really remembering how he had moved from standing to sitting.

The doctor stood up timidly and sighed. "Unfortunately it will be Leah's decision. The surgery is extremely invasive and will require most of the breast to be removed -"

"She'll do it" Seth growled glancing over the doctor and glaring at him. His mother didn't elect to have the surgery, but he'd be damned if he let Leah make the same mistake.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ IV ]

...

"I need you to understand that this is entirely up to you Leah. It's best to weigh up the pro's and con's of the situation before you decide on anything. Most of the patients like to discuss it with their families also- so if you'd like me to call anyone, I'd be more than happy to have the nurses station get in contact with someone if you want" Carlisle said softly as he stood at the foot of the Native American girls bed.

"No – it's fine." Leah breathed looking out the window towards the bright sunny day outside. The sun was always so tricky and while the rays belted against the glass creating a comforting heat, she knew it was absolutely freezing outside.

Carlisle nodded and placed the chart back into the slip at the end of the bed. "Once you have decided the nurse will page me and we will discuss the steps further. Good day" He smiled graciously as he walked towards the door and shut it quietly behind him.

It only took Leah a few breaths before Seth barged into the room and began shrugging his winter coat off. "The doctor's come by?" He asked as he moved to grab the chart and read over his notes.

Leah didn't answer and merely nodded in his direction. Seth had always been a control freak and would often pace around the room when their mother was in the same situation. She knew that if he felt like he was contributing somehow that he wouldn't simply be a fly on the wall, listening in on a fucked up situation.

Walking over to her IV, Seth checked the bag's reading and shook his head. "I'll get a nurse. This is going to run out soon and we need to keep your fluids up. When has Doctor Cullen scheduled the surgery?" He asked moving to also fill up a glass of water.

"I don't know if I want-" Leah began only to be cut off by Seth sitting next to her and adjusting her pillow behind her head.

"Drink" He ordered holding the glass to her lips and tilting it slightly.

Obeying, Leah took the liquid from him and let the cool burn slide down her throat. "Thanks" She muttered, turning on her side and staring out the window again to watch the way the rays flicked and slid against the glass.

"I want to talk to the surgical team and ask them if I can be present." He huffed, rolling up his sleeves and letting them sit at his elbow.

"But I-" Leah tired but was cut off once again. She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. He wasn't even listening to a word she was saying and judging from the way he was talking, he had already made up his mind, like it was somehow _his _decision.

"That way I'll know that they'll be doing the best they can. I have been researching it on the web and also want to ask them about after care treatments for when you come home. They say that there are many successful case-"

Pushing herself into a sitting position she spoke quickly so that he wouldn't cut her off again. "I'm _not _doing it Seth"

"Don't worry I'll take care of the after care programs. The captain has already granted me some leave so I can be with you for a while. They also have nurses that come by the house and check on patients that are re-covering so they won't have to travel the distance. If worse comes to worse, I'll quit my job and work night's for the Rez patrol and be at home with you during the day"

"_Stop_" Leah said forcefully throwing her hands up in the air and glaring at her brother. "You need to listen to me Seth! I am not getting the fucking surgery!" She scowled watching as his shoulders and neck tensed with his jaw. His fists slowly balled and his eyes diverted to the floor, hovering there, as if focusing on something.

"Yes. you. are" He said slowly, articulating every syllable and word. "You _are_ getting the surgery" Seth spat, rising from the chair and continuing to pace the room.

"It's my body Seth! I don't want some fancy white boy probing and prodding my body. You wouldn't like it if-"

"I am not watching you _die _Leah!" He hissed, snatching his jacket from the foot of the bed and slipping it on again.

"It's not your choice!" She screamed clenching the white sheets of the bed in her palms. "You have no say!"

"The hell I do" He yelled back stomping over toward the bed and snatching her up by her forearms. "I am your family. The only family you have left. You will not be so selfish and make this decision on your own"

Leah struggled in his grasp trying to free herself from his ever tightening hands. "Let go of me! You're hurting me!"

"I am not letting go of you Leah. Not ever" He said letting her pry away her arms giving his words more meaning than ever. He would never let her go, he loved her too much.

"It's _my _choice!" She yelled, the tears welling in her eyes and falling as she blinked furiously.

"You really want to die?" He asked forcefully, shoving the small side table away but not moving back an inch out of her face. His eyes were dark and cloudy as he watched over her face as she carefully though of her response.

"It's not that I want to die. I just don't want to be carved up like a fucking piece of meat. There are different options – other ways to get better"

"You're not going to get better. Not unless you have the surgery!" He spat walking towards the door and grabbing the knob tightly wanting to snap it off and throw it clean through the window to shatter the tension in the room.

"I'm not our mother" She said softly as she rubbed her forearms to stop the dull ache his hands had left on her skin.

Seth frustratedly ripped his hand through his hair and turned the door knob. "The papers for you to sign will be waiting at the front desk. When you are ready to come home tell the doctor to call the station. I'll come by and pick you up" He growled, ripping the door open and slamming it behind him.

Turning back to the window Leah brushed the tears that were running down her face away. Seth had never placed his hands on her so forcefully before and no matter how hard she tired she couldn't shake the imprints his fingers had made as they wrapped around her forearms. His touch was lingering on her skin, making her feel, relive, what had just happened.

Never in her life did she want to hurt or see Seth hurt. He had been there always. Always beside her through her whole entire life. Her first steps were while holding her brother's hand. Her first missing tooth was from Seth trying to show her how to rollerblade. Her first volantary tears were for Seth who was going to Port Angeles with their father on a boys day out. At three years old, she'd wanted to go as well because she hated to be away from Seth.

He was always there, beside her, behind her, even when she made good and not so decision. But now lying in the hospital, alone and cold, she wasn't so sure anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Twilight.

* * *

**

Tear me from the inside

[ V ]

...

Leah sat at the entrance of the building on a small wooden bench amongst a tiny little garden. She watched as the birds chirped and ran after each other, desperate almost to beat another bird to the seeds she had been throwing. The seeds now sat idly in her hand and she used her pointer finger and spread them out on her palm. Each of them were striped in black and grey and their oval shape was unique. Picking up one in her pointer finger and thumb she held it up toward the sun and closed one of her eyes to focus on the small seed.

She wondered that if it was to hit the right amount of sunlight whether she would be able to see through it? Would she be able to peel away the layers and see inside it and touch it's insides much like the doctors and medical staff wanted to do to her. They wanted to press a scalpel down against her skin with their index finger and drag the shiny blade across her skin. They wanted to disrupt and 'mess with' her body. The body that was given to her by her parents, the body that by whether fate or not had decided, was to carry the burden of the mother.

Dropping the seeds on to the ground, Leah dusted her hand against the flimsy light blue of the hospital gown. Pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around her legs, she rested her chin on her knees and watched as the birds congregated around her, happily chirping and buzzing with excitement at the vast amount of seeds she had dropped.

Closing her eyes she grimaced feeling in an instant the heat of other person's body taking it's place beside her on the small bench. She knew who it was straight away. His aroma was always strange to her. Well - not so much strange as it was comforting. After they'd lost their mother she would snuggle into his chest at night. It had been no use for Seth to take her back to her bed once she was asleep because no matter what he did, she would always wonder back it his bed and drown herself in him.

Warm tea with honey drops. So clear and recognisable, so calming and precise.

"Hey" His deep voice rumbled, voicing the silent apology she'd been waiting for. His heat was now pressing into her side as he scooted closer and draped an arm around her to pull her closer.

"Hey" She murmured back, turning her head so she was resting her cheek against her knees and looking away from him.

"Are you cold? Shit - of course you are" He muttered, pulling his jacket from his shoulders and draping it over her back. "It's freezing out here Leah, come back inside" He pleaded, rubbing his warm hand up and down her shin.

"I'm okay out here. I wanted to see the birds" She replied glumly. She could feel his other hand move up and down her back, trying to create some friction from the cold.

"Do you remember the birds in Florence? They were so much prettier than the ones here. Do you remember how we watched them from the pier?" He asked close to her ear, the warmth of his breath whirling down her cheek and neck making a warm fizzle move up her spine.

Leah closed her eyes and leaned towards his face unconsciously, letting his nose bury against the skin of her neck. "Of course I remember. How could I forget?" She whispered, the last of the words catching in her throat.

Flashback

"Geez these gloves suck" Leah whined as she rubbed the leather together between her ice cold hands. The cobbled streets were far from deserted and the colourful clothing of the residents and bustling people made her smile, even through the extreme frost bite she was sure she'd catch.

"Here" Seth smiled; stopping on the street and grasping her hands in his own. He rubbed at them furiously before slipping his gloves off and placing them on her hands. "Better?" He grinned wrapping her scarf a little tighter around her neck and laying the knot against her chest.

"Always" She smirked back, watching as he stuffed his own hands in his jacket pockets and continued to walk down the street. Catching up to him she huffed and linked her arm through his and leaned her head against his shoulder as they travelled toward their destination. "I think it would have been better if we came in summer" Leah said softly, clutching Seth a little tighter.

"They say Florence in the autumn is beautiful though" Seth replied back pulling the jacket parka a little higher to cover his neck.

"But we are here for another reason right?" Leah asked looking up at him biting down on her lip. All the way over on the plane she had been asking him about why they were going to Italy on a fully paid trip, but she had yet to receive an answer.

"Right" Seth nodded, blushing as woman that strode past them batted their eyelashes and smiled seductively at him. Though as soon as they saw Leah on his arm they some what misinterpreted the relationship between the siblings.

"So are you going to tell me or do I have to beat it out of you?" She said playfully as she stopped on the path and pulled his arm back. "Tell me please. While this is all nice, pretty and whatever else – I know something's wrong." A 14 year old Leah pulled out her best puppy dog eyes and celebrated inwardly as he rolled his own and huffed out a breathe.

"Fine" Seth grumbled as he watched Leah jump in glee, her tiny hands tugging up and down on the sleeve of his jacket. "Not here, let's go somewhere else, somewhere less – _crowded_" He grimaced, trying to halt her over excited behaviour.

Pulling her over towards a dock they walked further, though the further they walked Leah became more intrigued. Seth's face was set in stone and his eyes never faltered from the course they where on. Settling for a small row of seats on a pier Seth sat Leah down and crouched between her legs, holding on to the seat.

With a large sigh Seth looked up at Leah and shook his head. "You have to promise me that no matter what I tell you, that I will always be your brother, okay? I love you. I've loved you every single day of my life."

"Seth?" Leah questioned looking down at him and watching him closely. His eyes were distant yet full of an emotion that she couldn't quite place.

"Promise me Lee, promise that you won't ever hate me!"

"I could never hate you, but Seth-" She whimpered placing her palm on his cheek. "-just tell me"

"Promise me" He whispered, leaning his face into her palm and closing his eyes.

"Pinky promise" She whispered hugging his neck tightly and pressing her own cheek to his. She wanted him close, he looked so unsure, almost silently distraught as he crouched there in front of her.

"We came here to meet my mother. I was adopted. Sue and Harry took me in ever since I was an infant. I'm not your paternal sibling, but still - I am your brother right?"

"Oh Seth" Leah cried, hugging him a little tighter and some letting herself slip down from the seat to press her body closer to his. She was now kneeling between his legs as he remained crouched, his hands finding her back and rubbing soothing circles into her jacket.

Her body was trembling against his and he could hear her heart break against his chest. Her chin was tightly tucked into the crook of his neck when he caught a whiff of her delicate shampoo. Lychee and ginger. Sweet yet oh so earthy. "Lee?" He breathed, curling his arm around her head and pulling the hair away from her neck to smell her deeply.

"Yeah?" She mumbled as her forehead pressed against his jacket.

"Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you. I'll always love you, alright?" Pressing his lips softly to the flesh off her neck, he ran his nose up the length briefly and pulled away.

"Why didn't anyone ever tell me?" Leah pouted, rubbing the tears away from her eyes. "Everyone knew right?" She asked watching him answer with a nod. "So why didn't anyone tell _me_!" She half shouted. "I deserved to know!"

"Because no one wanted to hurt you honey, especially mom and dad"

"Well you did. You _all_ did" She grumbled dropping her hands to her sides and slouching back, allowing her to sit on her folded legs.

"I'm sorry" Seth sighed, running a large hand through his shaggy brown hair.

"Can we go back to the hotel now?" She asked, her eyes down cast as she picked up a small rock and fumbled it through her fingers.

"But I thought we were going to go to the museum?" Seth stated, standing on his feet and holding a hand out to her to help her up.

Leah looked at his hand, before getting up herself without his assistance. "I'm tired." She snapped, walking away from him with her arms wrapped around her torso.

Seth made sure to catch up to her, attempting to throw an arm around her shoulder which was shrugged off instantly. "Come on Leah, you promised this wouldn't change things between us"

"Well maybe I lied" She grumbled, striding out her legs a little further to get back to the hotel sooner. "Not like you all haven't done it right?"

"Fine" Seth growled stopping in the middle of the cobbled walk way and turning in the opposite direction. Seth walked and walked until he could no longer hear the stamping of her boots on the brick. He wondered if the temperature in the air suddenly dropped or if not having Leah by his side had made everything colder.

He scowled as he watched young lovers walking down the street, a couple passionately intertwined with one another on a scooter. Even the older couple sitting under a gazebo a step away from a cafe, enjoying a coffee made him mad. How did they all get the live life so carefree, so easily - when it felt like his was crumbling down around him?

By the time he got back to the hotel he found Leah curled up on the lounge, her long dark tresses of hair spread out all around her like a sleeping angel. Her beautiful Italian inspired clothing had now been replaced with a pair of dark grey sweat pants and a white 'Quileute Basketball' hoodie. Yet still, after all the woman, the possible models that had passed him in the street with their ten thousand dollar designer clothing, Leah was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Shaking his head to clear the thought we wondered over and placed an arm under her knees and one on her back to carry her to the bed. After tucking her in sweetly and placing a small kiss on her forehead, Seth sat in the leather lounge chair and watched her sleep. She looked peaceful - so far away from the death of their father only a few years ago and the imminent looming shadow of their mother's cancer.

Tomorrow he would meet the woman who had gotten knocked up to a man she barely knew and gave him up for adoption. Until then, he attempted to channel Leah's calm into his own body. His birth mother had fled to Italy and along the way was discovered as an artist. Sculpting he was told. He would meet her and thank her for letting him go. He would met her, humour her and then tell her how much he didn't need her. That it would be the first and only time they would interact. He would tell her that he didn't need the money and the cars she'd offered.

End Flashback

"We should get you back to your room" Seth stated kissing her temple and standing to his feet. "We don't want you to catch a cold" He said warmly as he held his hand out for her to take.

Leah looked at his hand for a moment in contemplation. Taking Seth's hand would mean agreeing to his conditions. Of course she didn't want to die, but with the operation being so invasive, what man would want her? What man would ever touch her again? Look at her the way they looked at her now? What man could love a scarred up, broken monster? A monster yes - not a woman, not ever a woman after that.

Sighing and pushing the stray hair out of her face, she slowly let go of her legs and took Seth's hand knowing full well, no matter what happened, at least she had him.

* * *

AN - Okay guys, so _I_ know where this '_relationship_' is going and I am pretty sure you all do too. Yeah, I am totally going to go there! Oh no she didn't... Uh-ha... she did! Also don't forget on 'Pink Ribbon Day' or any day to buy something to support those living with Breast Cancer. This will be tasteful and hopefully you will all see past the whole 'siblings' thing. After all, Seth _is _perfect!


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ VI ]

…

"Are you okay?" Seth asked laying his hand on Leah's thigh as they drove in his pick up headed back to LaPush. They'd finally left the hospital after Dr Cullen had explained what would be happening now that Leah had signed the papers for the surgery. They had four weeks before she was put under anaesthetic and until the surgical team would have a hand in removing the cancerous tissue of her breast.

"Yeah" Leah mumbled as she watched the trees fly past the cabins window. Pushing her fringe out of her eyes she lay her hand over Seth's and intertwined their fingers. "Thanks" She whispered.

"For what?" He asked, his eyes glancing from the road to her every so often. He was so worried about her. She had barely said anything and he knew that now was a good a time as any to start opening up to him. Of course he knew what kind of things she had gotten up to in the past. She had been rebelling against _him _and the tight leash he had her on ever since their mother had passed. Seth didn't like her going out late at night, he didn't like the men that ogled her or the way she seemed to enjoy it just to piss him off. He couldn't help but be a 24 year old over protective brother.

"For – I don't know – being there I guess. I have been a bit of a shitty sister, you know." She blanched, picking up his hand and placing it back to his own knee. "I guess I owe you an apology"

Before she could continue Seth smiled "Apology accepted. Think of it as water under the bridge." Reaching over he ruffled her hair only to have her shriek and slap away his hand.

Leah laughed shoving his shoulder lightly. "You're an idiot" She chuckled brushing and patting her hair back down with her fingers. "You've made it a mess" She grumbled using the side mirror to tuck a few short hairs back down.

"You're hair will always look beautiful" Seth exclaimed, grasping his hand around the back of her neck and brushing his thumb over her dainty ears. "It's your ears tinkerbell. You have _great _ears"

Snorting Leah pushed his hand away. "My ears? Seriously?" She laughed, tracing the shell of them with her long yet tiny fingers. "You have major problems if you think men look at me for my ears"

Seth's face tightened immediately and his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly.

"Anyways-" Leah started, rolling her eyes noticing her brother tighten up and freak out about her commenting on guys. "-what are we doing tonight? I feel like going out. Do you? Let's go out" She ebbed, poking his biceps through the white material of his shirt.

"I really don't think-" Seth started before she cut him off with a whine.

"What? Why not. Urgh-" She grumbled throwing her hands up "You are _so _boring"

"I'm not boring!" Seth stated as he pulled into the driveway and watched as Leah huffed, grabbing her overnight bag and slamming the door as she hoped out.

"Oh my god, yes, you are! All you want to do is sit at home and watch your stupid baseball, football or whatever the hell else is on. If you don't want to go out then you don't have to. Stay – I'll go!" She shouted as she pulled the screen door open and barrelled through the wooden front door.

Sighing, Seth undid his seatbelt and stuffed the keys in his pocket. Walking through the house and up the stairs to her room he knocked lightly on the pine and slowly turned the knob of the door open. Sitting down on the edge of her bed he ran his hands through her hair and lay a warm hand on the small of her back. "Look Leah, I have to drop by the station quickly to fill out my leave forms, then we can go down to 'Gradys' if you want?" He asked timidly while her face was tucked into the pillow. Gradys was a bar and grill just outside of town and it was really the only place he went if he wanted a nice cold beer. The nightclubs in Forks were too rowdy and too full of bad news. He liked things simple and Gradys was exactly that.

"I don't want to go anymore" She grumbled, sniffing into her pillow. "You killed my mood"

"I'm sorry" He whispered taking the fist she had made against the pillow and clasping her hand in his own. "I just – I don't think you should be going anywhere in your condition. Doc said the pills you're taking are going to make you sick, more sick than you have ever been. Your body is already struggling and I don't want it under anymore pressure" He breathed, lying down in the place next to her.

Leah could feel the tears staining the pillow and she hated it. She hated that Seth was going to stop his own life, stop working, just so he could look after her a baby sit her. She didn't want to drag him down with her, make him as miserable as she was.

Nodding her head she turned to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her nose in the crook of his neck. Breathing his scent in deeply she whimpered as his hands wrapped around her lower back and pulled her close.

Feeling his body so close to hers she couldn't help but shudder at the pure amount of heat his body was radiating. His chest rose and fell against her own, her breasts scraping the thin material of his white shirt and her own to heave against his.

She couldn't deny that Seth was absolutely perfect. He was boyishly good looking, he had deep set brown eyes, curious though intriguing. His chest was muscled and wide allowing his sculpted arms to look in perfect proportion. His stomach was flat and his abs looked like they had been cut with steel, a far cry from the typical jelly donut eating cops in small towns. His sandy brown hair while short was still shaggy and strangely long enough to sometimes fall in front of his eyes.

Hugging him tightly she couldn't help but trace her fingers down his back before they rested timidly on the waist of his jeans just above his ass. Before she could slip her fingers under his shirt and touch his russet skin, his hand snapped back and grasped her wrist.

Looking up at him, she watched as his eyes bore into her own with a questionable frown. "What are you doing?" He asked glancing from her eyes to her lips awaiting an explanation. Her lips were full and pouty. He fought the urge to lick at them and feel them against his own by shaking his head. When she didn't reply, he pried her hands from his neck and pulled away, slowly climbing out of the embrace.

Looking down at the floor he rubbed his palms over his face. "I have to go. Charlie is only going to be there until 6pm and then Houser is taking over." Getting to his feet he walked over to the door. "Do you want me to grab some dinner on my way back?" He asked looking back at her.

"Sure" She mumbled turning away from him and curling herself into a ball.

* * *

Driving back from the station after a quick stop at an Italian Restaurant he couldn't help but think about what had happened in Leah's room earlier that night. He was sure she was trying to run her hands on the skin of his back and when he looked down at her he could detect the abnormal darkness in her eyes. She had lust in her eyes as she looked up at him under those heavy feather duster like eyelashes.

Feeling a shiver move up his spine Seth farrowed his brows and tried to concentrate solely on the road. Maybe he had been wrong? Maybe it was something else. Leah was his sister, his _little _sister and there was no way in hell she could be looking at him like _that_. She was beautiful, headstrong, a pain in the ass most times, but not that. She wasn't looking at him like that. She _didn't _want _him _to feel her, caress her lithe little body in his hot palms. She didn't want his body covering every inch of hers in licks, nibs, bites and thrusts. _She couldn't_.

But then again, if she did, he didn't know if he could stop himself. Stop himself like a brother should. Even though they weren't related, they grew up together. They - by all intensive purposes - had the same parents. Sure, Leah was beautiful. Her eyes, her nose, her mouth, hell – even her ears were perfect and he wondered what it would feel like to trace his tongue around their shell, suck her lobe into his mouth and chew lavishly at them until she squealed.

"Fuck" He hissed pulling his hair tightly to snap himself out of the vivid imagination of her lying naked, waiting for him to arrive home. Of him smothering one of the parfait rolls from the Italian restaurant over her chest and eating the cream filled desert right of her skin, taking his time to hover over her nipples, allowing his tongue to dance and make marvellous shapes on the sensitive flesh.

Parking jaggedly in the driveway Seth snatched the expensive cream and ruby coloured bag from the restaurant and strode inside. The house was dark and he couldn't hear any movements from the second floor. Flicking on the kitchen light he began to unpack the food and lay it out on the small dining room table. The mushroom fettuccine he'd picked up for Leah and the home made lasagne for himself were getting cold as he sat at the table waiting for her.

Calling out and receiving no reply he got to his feet and made his way to the stairs. He could hear the shower running and thought that she probably wouldn't be able to hear him if she was showering. Looking down at his feet he cursed at the wet dirt trail his boots were leaving in the house and slipped them off at the bottom of the stairs along with his socks.

"Leah?" He called as he took each step in stride. Coming to the bathroom door he pressed his ear against the wood and knocked a couple of times. The steam was filtering from beneath the slit at the bottom of the door from the heat of the water. Knocking again he waited a moment before he turned to door knob and cracked open the door. He gulped as his eyes slowly made their way around the small bathroom. His eyes landed on Leah who was sprawled out on the cold tiles face down.

Flinging the door open he quickly kneed beside her and turned her over wiping the damp hair out of her face. She was still clothed but the spray of water from the open shower curtain had made her clothes wet. He kneeled there shaking her shoulders lightly. "Leah?" He shouted, reaching up to turn the spray of the water off. "Talk to me Tinkerbell, say something" He whimpered resting his forehead against hers.

Brushing her cheeks over and over again, he felt his heart jump when she started to wake. Looking up at him she gave him a lazy smile and fluttered her eyes a few times before they finally opened. "Hey" She said hoarsely, her throat dry and scratchy.

"What the hell happened?" He whispered tucking his arm under her knees and hoisting her up to take her back into the bedroom.

"I think those pills are going to kill me" She chuckled lightly, though groaning and holding her head towards the end of her sentence. "Light-headedness must come as a result. _Ugh_ – my head is killing me" She groaned as Seth lay her down softly on the bed.

Grabbing the pill bottle off the bedside table Seth read through the instructions of use on the back. "Have you eaten today?" He asked flipping the bottle in his hands to look for any more information. "It says you have to take two pills, twice a day with meals."

"I had a cheese sandwich before we left, but other than that-"

"Dammit Leah" He sighed placing the bottle back down and grabbing the towel from over the bed post. "You have to be more careful, this isn't just a fucking cold or something" He growled as he placed the towel around her head and attempted to dry her hair.

"Fuck you!" She snapped back, slapping his hands away. "I can take care of myself"

"Really Leah? Are you _really _going to start this game again?" He snarled back as he moved down the bed and began to unbutton her jeans.

"What are you doing?" She gasped, frozen in her place as he pulled the zipper down and tugged the waist band down to reveal her white cotton panties.

"Your clothes are wet. You need to change. I don't need you getting any sicker" He replied. Before he could tug her jeans down she grasped at his hands quickly.

"Stop Seth-" She whimpered, holding him tightly. "I am not a little girl any more. I can undress myself" She said in a small voice, pressing her thighs together to try and hide herself from him.

Seth's eyes widened as he realised what he was trying to do. Letting go of her jeans like they had some kind of a disease he stumbled back off the bed on to his feet. "What the hell am I doing?" He whispered to himself. He couldn't believe he was just trying to strip his almost 18 year old sister out of her wet clothes. Looking down at her he watched as her breasts heaved up and down, the erect little nubs piercing through the wet material. "I'll let you get changed. I brought dinner and -" Sighing he reached for the door. "I'm just gonna go" He mumbled, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ VII ]

…

Leah curled her legs up as she sat on the couch flicking aimlessly through the vast amount of television programs. It had been almost an hour since Seth had gone down to the store to pick up some food for the next couple of days. He had also mumbled something about stopping by Billy Black's place to see if he could pick up some hours. Charlie still had him on a salary but she presumed he just wanted to get out of the house instead of being stuck inside with her.

Billy led a small pack of guys who patrolled around the reservation and kept it safe. She knew that Seth and Billy's son, Jacob, attended high school together and where really close until their mother died. Seth had dropped all of his friends, basically his whole life to look after her and provide a roof over her head and food in her belly. They'd stayed in their parents house and Seth continued to pay the mortgage and all the bills.

She felt consumed with guilt thinking back on all the things he'd done just to make her happy. She was a bad person, she didn't deserve his love or attention. What he should of done was leave. After their mother had died he should have left her with their aunt June in Maklah and travelled. Gone out and seen the world instead of being stuck with a kid. He shouldn't have burdened himself with her.

Hearing a knock at the door she groaned and looked down at her attire. She couldn't be bothered by changing out of her pyjama's. Straightening out Seth's over sized shirt she wore she walked to the door and pulled it open, leaving the screen locked.

Standing on the porch was Embry Call holding a bunch of wild flowers in a crisp blue button up shirt and some dark jeans. Shuffling nervously he gave her a small grin.

"Hey Embry, what are you doing here?" Leah asked unlocking the door and pushing the screen door out to get a better look at him. He looked cute being dressed up and it was a far cry from the store uniform he wore.

"I heard you got out of the hospital and wanted to bring these by" He mumbled outstretching the flowers for her to take.

"Thanks" She grinned taking the flowers from his grasp allowing their fingers to brush. "You want to come in or something?" She asked jerking her thumb towards the living room.

"Actually, I was coming to ask if you wanted to go out tonight - with me? You know, nothing fancy, just maybe to the diner and then for a walk on the beach or something" Embry was so nervous he couldn't help but twiddle his thumbs as he spoke. He was expecting her to say no after the incident from their last meeting but after talking to his best friend Quil, he'd some how been convinced that it would be nice to take the girl out on a date and apologise.

Glancing back at the clock Leah smiled. "Sure. Pick me up at 7?" She answered as she smelt the flowers. No one had ever brought her flowers before – well – none of the guys she had been involved with anyway. Embry was so sweet to think of her, even after she'd behaved like a raving lunatic.

"Seven?" He asked almost excitedly, a small bounce appearing in his stance.

"Unless it's too early?"

"No no. Seven is perfect. I guess I'll see you then?" He smiled, Leah noticing blush creeping on his cheeks.

"Seven then" She grinned, softly closing the door as he almost tripped on his own feet as he left the porch. She chuckled as she locked the screen and went to the kitchen to place the flowers in a vase. Running the water she grabbed the scissors from the drawer and cut the stems before placing them in the light green vase. Embry had somehow managed to find a whole array of wild flowers varying from pinks and purples to blue and yellows.

Placing the vase on the kitchen table she sniffed at them one more time before taking her spot on the couch.

After several hours, half a block of chocolate, two loads of washing and a fresh coat of ruby red nail polish applied 3 times to her toes, Seth strolled in the door with a handful of brown paper bags juggling the keys in his mouth and kicking the door shut.

"What is that smell?" He asked, laying the bags down on the table and ruffling through them to find packet of oven baked crisps. Taking a seat next to Leah he watched as she scrunched her brow and began applying the red coloured paint to her finger nails.

"That my dear sweet brother is the smell of nail polish" She answered keeping her eyes on her fingers as she painted. The red coats had to be applied perfectly. It was strange to think that this would only be the second time she'd been on a date. All the other encounters with men had been ad hoc and on impulse. Drinks at a party, shots in theirs cars, all ending with them panting as they lay over her in a heap. She was genuinely excited to be going out.

"I can see that" He said slightly amused at the faces she was pulling. "But why Tinks, are you painting your nails?" Seth couldn't help but call her Tinks. Ever since he'd referred to her in the car as Tinkerbell, I just seemed to stick.

"That may be because I am going out tonight" She smiled placing the brush back inside the container and blowing long sharp breaths on to her nails to help with the drying. "with Embry" She finished.

Seth choked on the chip in his mouth. "Like a date?" He growled crushing half on the pack in his hand. "With Embry? As in 'Dungeons and Dragons 'Embry? The same kid that almost wet his pants in high school when he had to kiss Rebecca Black for a dare?"

"Shut up Seth" Leah snapped, waving him off as she got off the couch, only to have him follow her. "Embry is nice and sweet and not like any other the other guys I know."

"No sex" Seth suddenly growled out of the blue stunning Leah were she stood.

"Excuse me?" She answered in amazement as she turned to look at her brother.

"You heard exactly what I said. No. _Sex_." He hissed making it a priority to get his point across.

"You can't just say _that_. You can't tell me what to do" She said softly trying to unpack the rest of the bags he had brought in. She pulled out a tray of plums and a packet of dried apricots - A necessity in Seth's big plan to make her strong enough for the surgery.

"The hell I can! If he touches you – so help me God – that kid will _never _have children"

"Seth!" She shouted jamming the milk carton into the fridge and slamming the door shut. "Embry's not like that okay? He probably just wants to talk and stuff. I doubt he _fucks _on the first date" She mocked as she crossed her arms against her chest. "Not that it's any of your business"

"Leah – he might not be - _clean_" He growled.

"So he'll wear a condom" She stated shrugging at his remark. "I don't even know why we are still discussing this. It's done. I am going out. We'll get dinner, talk, probably kiss and then that's it" She snarled back trying to walk past him and failing. Every time she went to move around him he blocked off her path while his giant frame.

"You want him to kiss you?" He hissed walking towards her and backing her into the bench.

"Maybe" She replied rolling her eyes and huffing out a breath. She tried so hard not to be intimidated by how close he actually was. His hard stomach was only inches from hers which left even less space between their faces.

"Do you want _him_ to kiss you or do you just want to be kissed?" He asked, the pit jealousy stirring in his stomach. He didn't even understand why he was jealous. If anything he should be cautious not jealous. "Well?" Seth questioned in a husky tone his breath fanning over her face making the butterflies in her stomach beat her insides to death.

"I don't know" She stated as her eyes dropped heavily taking in his scent. Tea and honey. It was so warm, so intoxicating.

"Let's see then, shall we" He whispered, cupping her face in his hands and brushing his nose against hers.

Pressing his lips to hers he could feel the fireworks going off in his body. Her lips were warm and moist. She tasted like hot chocolate and sugar. He was pleasantly surprised when she gasped into his mouth and he didn't waste a second, burying his tongue deep in her mouth.

Wanting to get closer, Seth didn't break the kiss but allowed his hands to travel down her body to search out the bend in her knees. Finding what he was looking for he hoisted her up on to the bench, opening her legs and planting himself between them.

Something in the back of his mind was screaming at him to stop. That this was wrong. This was his baby sister – but he couldn't stop. Her scent, her warmth, even the small circular motions she was making with her hips were all driving him to the brink of insanity.

Feeling her hands against his chest he pulled away slowly, kissing her a few more times softly before allowing their lips to come apart.

Leah took hard shaky gulps of air as she tried to catch her breath. Her fingers were trembling and she couldn't make them stop. Somewhere inside her was screaming for her to have her way with him, right here in the kitchen, to strip away every inch of material and let him fuck her over the dinning room table.

"Are you okay?" Seth asked in a small voice, running his thumb along her cheek to make circular motions .

Leah blinked several times before she felt like she'd gotten her bearings back and somehow snapped out of the blatant daze she was in. "What just happened?" She cringed, closing her eyes and shuffling away from the bulge in his jeans that was pressed up a little too close for comfort.

"I just - _kissed _- you" He replied in a soft voice making her spine shoot tingling little embers of fire throughout her body.

"Move" She asked in a timid tone, trying to get away from him.

"Can I kiss you again?" Seth whispered staring at her lips while unconsciously licking his own. He'd gotten a taste and now he knew he was hooked. He needed her like the dark sky needed stars, like the beach needed waves.

"I said _move_" She hissed, pushing against his chest with new found rigour and dashing past him up the stairs to the safety of her room. She couldn't help the lifeless tears that fell from her eyes as she locked her door and slid down the wood.

It was wrong for him to kiss her. It was wrong for her to have liked it. And it was wrong that she wanted nothing more than to do it _again_.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ VIII ]

…

Leah yawned as she reached the bottom of the stairs, stretching her arms up high above her head and lazily walking into the kitchen. Seth had his back to her as she slid into the chair and rested her head on the dinning table. It hadn't been a late night but she knew with the medication she was taking it was weakening her slowly. It was almost as if she could feel her body being drained slowly of all her energy. The date with Embry had been nice. They'd mostly talked even though she was still apprehensive and thinking about what hadn't happened earlier that day with her brother. It was unnerving and weird. She could tell if her emotions were true or if she was slowly losing her mind.

The kiss had been something now she couldn't stop thinking about. It was like once she had a taste she needed more. Anything that he could give. It felt like a high school crush only ten times worse. The butterflies, the hours spent in bed thinking about what could possibly happen between them. The slow burning embers of pleasure as she imagined her brother taking her into his arms and making her feel something. The most haunting thing about it was that he could actually make her feel. More than rage, more than anger at God for taking her mother, more than the disgust she felt to the men that took her willingly while their wives tended to their children in the night. He made her feel loved, safe and that the world would be a better place if she lived.

It had been a long time since she'd felt wanted.

Flipping the omelet with a scoop Seth patted down the egg again before glancing over his shoulder at his younger sister. Her hair was in disarray and her light breathing was echoing of the table making it sound louder than it actually was. The fact that Leah was also wearing one of his old football tees hadn't escaped his eye either. Her cotton bed shorts were short and he literally had to tear his eyes from her long bronzed legs to focus back on breakfast.

"Big night?" He asked turning the heat of the pan down and sliding the egg on to a plate. He'd used his special recipe for omelet's, the same one their mother used every Saturday morning when they were growing up. Two eggs, diced tomato, speck, salt, pepper, cream cheese and chives. Nothing could ever go wrong with the dish, which in their mothers final years had become some what of a delicacy. It had become harder and harder for her to make, until Seth began taking up the task in her stead. Leah had always been a lousy cook and he knew that if she'd taken over the duty she would have burnt the house down.

"No" Leah grumbled, leaning her chin in her palms and her elbows sharply on her table. She could help but notice that Seth was only in a pair of track pants, his large shoulders and muscled back moving with him as he arranged the plates and began pouring some Multi-V juice into glasses. "You didn't hear me when I came back?" She said raising an eyebrow, moving slightly back as he placed two plates down before retrieving his own from the bench. The omelet looked good and she felt the hunger in her stomach squeeze.

"I had company last night – so _no _– I didn't hear you come in" He replied, a slight tightness edging in his words.

Before Leah could ask who had been at their house, she looked down at the free plate next to her and grimaced. Obviously whoever it was, was still somewhere in the house. Hearing the taps of the upstairs bathroom close off, she picked up her fork shakily and began to pick at the omelet. "Oh" She whispered as she separated the small cuts of tomato from her egg. Suddenly she didn't feel so hungry. It felt like her stomach was twisting violently and she could taste the bitterness in her own mouth. Why would Seth be any different from any other man? Kiss one woman and invite another to his bed. Promise her his allegiance and then love another.

"Yeah" Seth grumbled looking down at his plate with his hands in his lap. Watching Leah's face as she dawned with recognition he was suddenly lost his appetite as well. He felt a pang of guilt running through his veins with an unanswerable question of why. Why should he be guilty that he'd spent the night with a woman? A beautiful woman he might add. One that he had built a small piece of something that resembled a life. Love was a complicated thing and even he couldn't really decided on how he felt for his girlfriend and to what extent. Sure he loved her, but was he in love. He made her happy, laugh and she acted as if he meant everything to her, but he wasn't sure if he could say the same for her.

"Morning baby" A sweet shrilling voice shot through the air startling both siblings. "Oh – you have company - hello there" A bronzed hair woman said, turning to Leah with her hand out waiting for her to introduce herself. "I'm Nessie. You must be Leah. Seth here has told me so much about you!" She sung, her high pitched voice stinging Leah's ears.

She was a petite thing. Long bronze hair, tiny yet womanly curves and the top of her head probably only reached Leah's chin. She had big brown eyes and full pink lips. Immediately going on the defensive Leah stared at her hand before looking up and glaring at her. "Whatever" She mumbled, rolling her eyes and throwing her fork down on the table to stand. She decided she wasn't going to stay for the niceties, she wanted out.

Cringing back Nessie diverted her eyes from the hard stare and tentatively kissed Seth on the cheek. Feeling no response from Seth she sat down uncomfortably at the table reaching for the glass of orange juice. Her eyes flicked from Seth was seated with an angry look on his face, to his sister who was walking out of the kitchen. She'd never met Leah before. Hell - she'd never even seen Leah before. It was like when Seth mentioned her she was everything a sister should be, but after he'd told her she was going through some personal issues, Nessie didn't pry. But it did explain why Leah was never home and always - _out_.

"Sit down and eat Leah" Seth scowled pointing to the forgotten food on the table. She needed to keep up her strength and stay as healthy as possible. He didn't need her fainting again. What if next time it was while she was in the bath or behind the wheel of a car?

"Screw you!" She snapped back, kicking the chair and walking out of the kitchen. "It's nice to finally meet one of my brother's whores" She shot back over her shoulder at the stupidly beautiful woman in her kitchen. She could help but snipe, it was the only thing she could do to stop herself from slapping the bitch down. Just the thought of 'Red' kissing Seth angered her and made her whole body shake like she was going to explode.

"Get back here and apologise Leah!" Seth yelled from the kitchen, the sound of rattling dishes letting her know that he was pissed. She couldn't and didn't want to care.

"Yeah sure" She grumbled as she ran up the stairs and slammed her door shut with enough force to shake the surrounding walls. He could go fuck his little princess as much as he wanted. But to have her stay in _their _home rattled her. She felt like the wife of one of the men she used to see after finding out that their husband had shared a bed with someone who was just old enough to drive.

* * *

After Seth apologised profusely for his sisters behaviour, he kissed Nessie softly and walked her out to her car which was parked up the street. It had been an awkward moment. He'd told Nessie before about Leah's cancer even after he'd promised his sister to keep it a secret. She didn't want people feeling sorry for her, feeling their pity. Nessie eventually accepted his apology because he'd promised they go out next weekend to one of the nightclub. Drinking and dancing with friends.

Ripping the front door from the hinges Seth stomped up to Leah's room and banged on her door loudly, enough to wake even the dead. "Open the door Leah. That was so fucking rude of you" He shouted, rattling the door with his large hands. He still couldn't believe her behaviour. Not only had it been rude but it was down right disrespectful. He'd not said anything when Embry Call had arrived on the door step for a date with his sister, as Seth had opted to hang out in the garage around the back, beer in hand while fixing new spark plugs to the mower.

"Go away" He heard her squeak from inside her room. She sounded weak but then again maybe she was upset. Seth couldn't fathom over what. He was the one that was embarrassed, not her.

"Not until you open the door!" He shouted again, using his shoulder to lean against the door. Letting out a breathe Seth pressed his cheek to the door and sighed. He knew he wasn't getting anywhere by yelling - not with Leah anyway. "Talk to me Leah. Open the door and talk to me. Tell me what's wrong"

"Fuck off!" She shrieked, throwing something hard and heavy at the door making Seth shoot back from the pine as if the object was going to pierce the door and cut through him. At least he'd established that she wasn't weak enough to be mad.

"You leave me no choice" He growled before shoving his shoulder abruptly into the pine, dislodging the lock and popping it open. It felt impersonal speaking through the wood and he needed to see her.

"Go away" She mumbled, pulling the sheet over her head and rolling herself into her pillow hugging it tightly to her chest. She felt safe in her cocoon. Away from Seth's eyes and his disapproving stare.

"Stop being so childish and tell me what's wrong with you. You totally freaked when Nessie tried to introduce herself and you made me look like an idiot."

"Maybe 'cause you are an idiot" She yelled from beneath the mess of white sheets. After a few minutes Leah could only hear the light sound of Seth breathing as he sat down on the bed, the whole side shifting with his weight.

"Are you mad at me Leah?" He asked softly rubbing the back of his neck to relieve the tension that sat there. He wasn't quite sure if the tension was from the moment he was in now or the semi-rough sex he and Renesmee had enjoyed the night before. Out the corner of his eye he watched as the white sheets ruffled and she slowly inched her way out of the cubby house of material she'd built.

"Do you love her?" Leah asked looking up at Seth to watch him closely. "Do you love her?"

"Leah-" He sighed shaking his head knowing what this was about. "I love her like a man, yes. But that doesn't change my love for you. You're my sister and you'll always be my sister. No matter how much I love Ness, you'll always come first. You know that right?" He replied sincerely turning his head to get a better look at her. Her eyes were now down cast and some of her hair was swept to the front of her shoulder framing half of her beautiful face.

"Right" Leah said dryly, poking out her tongue to wet her lips. "How long have you been fucking her?" She questioned not particularly wanting to know the answer, but much like a deep hungry, she _needed _to know.

"We've been _dating _for about 10 months now." He breathed making Leah's heart instantly sink. Why was this the first time she'd noticed? Had she been that much of a bitch to cut Seth completely out of her life while affectively doing the same to him. Sure, things hadn't been right ever since their mother died but that didn't explain why she just found out he had a girlfriend. Her guilt over not being involved in her brother's life soon turned into anger and she felt like hitting something or more importantly him.

"So - I am the last one to know - _again_" She snapped, Seth knowing immediately that she was referring to the time when both he and Sue waited out on telling her Sue's real condition and the most probable outcome of the diagnosis. Before Seth could reply Leah pulled the sheet back over her head. "Get out" She whispered as she tried to wipe the small tears that were running down her face away under the mess of material. "Get out _right _now."

Seth could hear the light sobs from her lips even though she was trying to muffle them. Without saying another word, he nodded and walked towards the door and pulled it shut behind him.

As soon as Seth left the room Leah threw off the blankets and got out of bed to rummage through her drawers. Finding a pair of jeans and a new tee, she slipped them on and combed out her hair. The small amount of tears had made her eyes a little glassy but she didn't care. Cracking the window open she hoisted herself out and reached out her fingertips to the large tree that grew beside the house.

She supposed if Seth could get on with his life so could she. Sure she didn't love Embry, not yet anyway. Maybe she could learn to love him and maybe she could be happy with that. There wasn't going to be a prince charming in her life and she wasn't going to wait. Embry was sweet, loving and nice, and she shrugged her shoulders concluding that maybe _that _was all she needed.


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ IX ]

…

Embry sat, sprawled out on the couch diverting his attention back and forth from the house phone to the game on TV. He wondered if it would be too soon to ring Leah and ask her out on another date. In his opinion they'd had a good time and she'd even kissed him.

Touching his lips he could still feel her lips pressed smoothly against his own. There was no tongue but it was still nice. It was sweet as was her breath as he thought back to the moment he stood on the porch with her, returning her home like a true gentleman. His mother had tried to raise him right even with all the douche bags around and he'd always promised her that he would never disrespect a woman like she had been treated her whole life. He loved his mother and he knew that she didn't deserve the way men treated her. He was down right adamant not to make the same mistakes as his father had. If he had children, he would never leave them. He would rather cut off his own ear. Embry had suffered so much growing up as the bastard child of a supposed 'Maklah Whore'. He'd gotten into so many fights as a kid and it was no wonder he didn't have any friends. Most of the other children had listened to their parents when they said his mother so no good, hence he was the spawn of evil.

He knew something was bothering Leah last night but he wasn't going to push her. His plan was to build their connection a little more before he started intruding in on her life. He didn't want to her back out of what they had nor run away because he came on too strong, too soon. He wanted her to tell him her problems once she trusted him and felt like he deserved to know. He wanted her to feel comfortable around him and not uneasy. Once he'd finally got hold of the courage to ask her out on a date it felt like half his anxiety had eased. Like he could actually breathe and talk to her without seeming like an excited puppy dog. That was the last impression he wanted to give off.

A light knock at the door jolted him alert and he couldn't help but farrow his brows. His mother wasn't due home until later that afternoon because she'd taken a double shift with the cleaning company she worked with. Perhaps it was Mrs Leven who lived across the road who made it a hobby to ask them for sugar when she was out. It wasn't as if the store was miles away and he was sure Mrs Leven was just a busy body.

Getting up off the couch and walking to the door, he was almost gobsmacked as the last person he suspected stood there in nothing but jeans and a shirt. "Jesus" He exclaimed pulling open the door and tugging her inside. "Aren't you cold, it's freezing out there" He mumbled as she stood in the passage way with her arms wrapped around her torso while he jogged over to the couch, snatching the woollen throw rug from the top.

"A little" She shuddered, Embry noticing that her bottom lip was a lined with a tinge blue. Wrapping the blanket around her, he rubbed his hands up and down her arms attempting to warm her. "You walked all the way here?" He asked noticing that their was no car in the drive and that he hadn't even heard one come down the street for the last hour.

"I was going to have some one drop me off but then I realised that I don't have any friends" Leah stated, not so much sad as she was disappointed. It wasn't like she needed friends but it definitely would have been nice to have someone to talk to. Someone she hadn't kissed. Someone who could give her a fresh perspective of her own life. Fresh eyes might just help her work out her feelings towards both Embry and Seth.

"Are you warm yet?" Embry asked softly, moving her a little closer by her upper arms.

"Do you want to know the best way to get warm" She grinned as she looked up at him. There was a mischievous glint in her eye that even Embry couldn't say he didn't notice. The tone in her voice had also dropped to a low, seductive drawl and it ultimately scared him.

"Sure, let me hear it" He grumbled more intent on keeping his hands working up some heat over her body than conversing. She was so cold and he didn't like to think what would have happened if he wasn't home. She would have had to walk all the way home in this freezing cold weather.

"You have to hold me" She ebbed, her voice swirling around him making his ears ring. He shuddered as her index finger played with one of the buttons on his shirt and he couldn't help but feel the uncomfortable tightness in his jeans.

"I can do that" Embry chuckled as he drew her closer, resting his chin on her head as he rubbed smooth circles in her back. The material of her shirt was so cold it felt damp in his palms.

"No" She sighed leaning into him but tilting her head up so she could look at him. "I have to be naked. And so do you"

Embry coughed uncomfortably as he stopped embracing her and stood back to look down at her. She face was cast in a serious matter and he had no doubt in his mind what she was thinking about. Taking a few seconds to calm him self Embry shook his head. "I can't Leah... Not with you, not now"

Leah felt her throat close up almost immediately. Of course she'd been stupid enough to think that he would want her. He could probably see the bright fluorescent sticker labelled 'Cancer' on her forehead. He could probably tell that she was disgusting and dirty for having thoughts about kissing her own brother again.

Stepping back Leah pushed the blanket off her shoulders and turned to the door. "I'm just going to go" She mumbled softly making sure not to look back at him.

Before she could pull the knob open she felt his heavy palm resting over the hand she had on the door. "Don't go" He breathed, her hair ruffling softly as he spoke close to her ear. "Just – I'm not going to sleep with you Leah. Not until you really want me. I want us to know each other first. So please, stay"

Nodding Leah dropped her hand and turned to him. "But don't you want too? I mean – I like you, you like me, why don't you want-. Am I that disgusting that you wont even touch me?" She asked incredulously and with wide eyes.

"What are you talking about Leah? You're beautiful, you could never be disgusting. Trust me-" He said cupping her face and running his thumbs over her cheeks. "-I definitely want to touch you, feel you – but I also want more. I don't want to be another man. I want to be _the_ man." He proclaimed quietly as he timidly pressed his lips to hers.

As he pulled away he noticed the tears running down her face. "Why are you crying?" He asked, cocking his brow and wiping them away as she bit down on her bottom lip.

"I don't know" Leah said attempting to smile through the tears making it look more like a grimace on her beautiful features.

"Come here" He breathed, pulling the front of her shirt forward and hugging her again. Leah took the opportunity and wove her arms around his torso at the same time pulling him forward into her. His chest raised up and down against hers though she didn't feel the same arousal as when Seth had done the same thing. Just merely thinking about her brother being so close, she couldn't help but press harder into Embry, making his warmth surround her even more so. She wanted to feel the way Seth made her feel, and she wanted to feel it with Embry - anyone but her brother.

Leah hadn't even noticed that somehow they had gotten from the living area to his bedroom until he pulled back his sheets and gestured for her to jump in. "Changed your mind?" She asked playfully as she unbuttoned her jeans and slid them off her legs, letting them pool around her ankles before she kicked them off. She couldn't help but laugh as Embry's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "Sorry, I can't sleep with jeans on" She shrugged, launching herself into the bed, bouncing playfully a couple of times before motioning for Embry to join her inside the warm covers.

"I don't know" Embry sighed thinking about how dangerous it would be to crawl in beside her. He wasn't sure if he had enough strength to stay away from her and her advances.

"Come on Em. If you want to get to know me you have to get in here" She beckoned pulling his side of the bed sheet back. "I'm not going to bite you"

"Fine" He grumbled, pulling his shirt off and throwing it across the room.

Leah took an appreciative glance over his chest. He wasn't as big and bulky like some of the guys on the rez but he was still very attractive. His body was toned and firm, his muscle mass evening out his tall frame making his portions fit perfectly. "You should go shirtless more often, you're hot" Leah smiled as she slipped an arm over his chest and snuggled into him as he lay down. He was warm and she laughed when she ran her cold feet against his calf making him gasp.

"Your feet are freezing. You want me to rub them?" He chuckled, shifting his hands through the material to find her leg.

Leah caught his wrist and guided him to where she needed him most. "How 'bout you rub me here?" She said in a low tone, kissing his chest and pressing his hand deeper against her until his hand was almost sliding between her thighs. When she couldn't feel him doing anything she kissed his chest again. "Please Embry" She begged feeling him begin to pull away from her.

"Leah you have to understand that - no - I _need _you to understand that it's not going to happen. I need to feel that you are totally here with me. Not part of you, not just the part you want me to have. I need all of you." He told her softly kissing her pouty lips once. Twice. Three times.

"Urgh" Leah complained throwing her hands up. "Why do you have to be so sweet."

"You know, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me" He smiled reaching his hand over his head and stretching it so he could wrap it around her shoulders and pull her closer. Her head was resting on his chest and her fingers tip toed across his chest, moving up and down trying to remember every crease and indent his flesh made over his muscles and bone.

"I'm sorry for being such a bitch" She mumbled as she yawned. "I just - I do like you Embry, I just have trouble showing it sometimes. I think your the sweetest guy I have ever met" She said sincerely, rubbing her cheek against the hard planes of his chest.

"Thank you Leah. Apology excepted" He chuckled, kissing her forehead and resting his cheek against her hair. It didn't take long until they both dozed off. It was unusual for them both to fall asleep in the middle of the day but with the dreary cold weather and the rain clouds gathering it made for nice relaxing mood. It was dark outside for it only being noon and with the warmth between them, it was almost impossible to stay awake.

* * *

AN - OMFG! My Blackwater mojo is fading and I can only write everything _but _Jacob. Damn me and my wondering curiosity to other pairings with Leah! DAMN ME TO HELL!

Also a total plug for the story _'The Wedding Crashers'_ by DasMervin! If you love the 'Supernatural Guys' and Leah then you will love this story! Though beware because Jacob is a total ass and everyone including Seth is a total jerk towards Leah! I don't even watch Supernatural and I fucking loved and faved it! It's amazing! AMAZING! READ NOW! NOW! There is a one-shot from DasMervin that should be read first to establish the friendship they all have! GO NOW! NOW! Fav it, stalk it, bask in it's awesomeness and show the author some love...

Hmmm... Embry shirtless, warm bed, cold feet... beautiful!


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ X ]

…

"Mum, this is Leah. Lee, my mum" Embry smiled tugging her hand so she would come out from behind him. She'd been embarrassed to wander down only wearing Embry's shirt to meet his mother for the first time.

Leah peaked around Embry's wide shoulders and smiled. Ana Call had a warm smile on her lips as she stirred the pot of wonderfully fragrant food which had wafted through the house, waking them both. Her apron was strung loosely and she'd made smears of tomato paste on it, fingerprints closely beside them. Her hair was long and braided into a long plait and the small wrinkles in the corners of her eyes were kind of cute. She almost had a flash of her own mother doing exactly the same thing when she was younger only the tomato paste was replaced by flower and icing. Leah always loved the way her mother made desserts. Chocolate brownies from scratch or hazelnut and vanilla cookies. The house alway smelt so sweet when she wake in the mornings to find racks and racks, cooling on the bench top.

"Why hello Leah. I've heard so much about you" Ana beamed excitedly wiping her hands on the apron and embracing Leah unexpectedly. "Embry's told me so much about you. It's nice to finally meet you. Let me look at you"

Pulling away Leah let Ana see her and couldn't help the blush that crept over her face. Ana's hands first started petting her hair and then moved to her shoulders. Ana took in her bright eyes, while full of pain had a lot of potential, her full lips, her white teeth, all wonderful features on the golden tan backdrop of her skin. Leah was beautiful without a doubt and she was proud that Embry had someone to finally share part of his life with. He'd had a hard time growing up and he didn't posses many friends which often led to her worrying about her only son. He didn't socialise very much with any of the other young men around town and often went about being a loner. Embry was a good boy and deserved some happiness in his life.

Looking at her son she grinned. "You were right. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen"

"Mum!" Embry whined "Can we not like – do this _right_ now?" He hissed, utterly flushing from head to toe. Leah caught sight of his ears turning bright red and she chuckled to herself quietly. She secretly loved the way Embry blushed and wore his emotions very much on his sleeve. It was refreshing to know not every guy in town was an utter asshole.

"Nonsense" She laughed flicking him off with her wrist. "Now both of you come and sit down, dinner is almost ready and I need you to set the table young man" Ana teased, pinching Embry's cheeks as she walked back to the stove.

Embry noticed the shit eating grin on Leah's face and couldn't help but to poke his tongue out at her. In return she flipped him the bird and smirked. Letting out a little growl Embry stalked forward and captured her in his long arms and hugged her tight. She was so warm and comforting, and every time he touched her he wanted to get lost in her aura. It amazed him how someone could change so suddenly and he was grateful that she actually wanted to spend time with him, that she wanted him.

"You're mom is so sweet" She whispered into his neck taking in his deep woodsy scent.

"Shut up" He chuckled kissing her hair and dragging her to help him set the table.

After they'd both laid out cutlery and bowls Ana began dishing up the hearty stew she had made for dinner. Beef and vegetables crowd the bowls and Leah licked her lips in anticipation. She couldn't cook to save her own life and she was always so grateful to enjoy a nice home made dinner. Sure she liked Seth's cooking and eating at the diner but this was so much better. It really wouldn't have mattered if it was onion soup, she was famished.

"So Leah tell me a little about your self. You're obviously Quileute... who are your parents?" Ana smiled as she place her apron on a hook and sat down at the table with the two who were already seated. She could already see this difference in Embry's eyes as he watched and waited for an answer. He looked brighter, much more happy, and much more like the sweet little boy that her son once was.

"Well – I – There's not really much to tell" Leah murmured placing her spoon into her stew and swirling the vegetables and meat around the bowl. "My dad died when I was eleven and then my mom passed away from cancer when I was 15. Harry and Sue Clearwater" She sighed placing the sliver spoon down against the edge of the plate. "I live with my brother Seth and I – I guess that's it" She shrugged feeling the pressure on her. She hadn't really achieved anything worthwhile and didn't really have any plans for the future – not anymore. Even before the cancer it wasn't like she had plans. She didn't have to luxury of planning out a life, she was just trying to stay afloat.

"That's terrible. I'm sorry honey" Ana gasped placing her hands in her lap and feeling bad for bringing up the subject. "I remember your mother and father. They were good people. Your father was on the council and your mother did great things for the kids around the rez"

"Yeah" Leah frowned, feeling the hungry in her stomach quell down. She didn't feel like eating anymore, the hunger had dissipated.

"I'm sorry Lee" Embry whispered, kissing the side of her head and grabbing her hand. He realised that though he didn't grown up without a father, it wasn't anything like having one and then them being taken away from you. His mom had always been there for him, from the black eyes in high school to the childish taunting on the playground. For her to lose her mother as well must have been crippling.

"It's fine Embry." She smiled back offering him a little solace. She didn't want Embry to feel bad, he would have found out sooner or later.

"You know Embry and your brother went to the same school?" Ana said trying to shake the uneasiness in the air. "They weren't in the same class but I remember your brother when he was a boy. Didn't you all have ties with the Black family?"

Leah nodded, her hand still firmly inside Embry's. "My dad and Billy Black used to fish a lot, or something like that. My mother always used to tell me how they would spend a whole day down at the river and then demand that mom fry the fish as soon as they got home. She made the best fish fry."

Talking soon becoming easier and Leah could feel the tension leaving her shoulder's due to Ana's warm hospitality. Her huger also returned and she enjoyed the warm thick texture of the stew. After the dessert of warm southern baked cheesecake Leah was treated to Embry's mothers collections of baby photos which were vast to say the least. Both women were highly amused as Embry washed the dishes and grumbled about something under his breath.

"Embry would always carry this tiny blue blanket around with him. One day I tried to wash the blanket and he cried for hours while it was drying. It took him five years to finally give up his 'blankie'"

"_Mom_" Embry scolded, snatching Leah by the hand and dragging her out of the kitchen. "That's so not cool" He couldn't believe that his mother had dragged out the baby pictures. He'd only just managed to get Leah to like him and now she was being brainwashed by his mother. He didn't want her to run off because of the mother that was Ana Call.

"I think its cute" Leah laughed as Embry growled and pulled her towards the bedroom. She couldn't help but laugh at his antics and she loved that he was getting so red.

"At least someone else thinks it as well. I told you it was cute!" His mother laughed from the kitchen as the door to his bedroom clicked shut.

"You're such a spoil sport" Leah grinned up at Embry who returned the smile. She noticed for the first time he hand tiny little dimples in his cheeks and wondered if they'd just appeared or if it was just that she hadn't noticed them before.

"Yeah well it's embarrassing Leah" He chuckled running a hand through his hair to shake his blush. Glancing at the window he could see the afternoon light begin to leave, replacing in its stead darkness. Taking her up in his arms Embry hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. "You want me to take you home? It's getting late and I bet your cop brother will be wondering where you are." He sighed, squeezing her a little not at all wanting her to go. He'd only just got her and now he never wanted to let go. Of course he wanted to sleep with her, have sex with her, but he knew she wasn't ready for that. He knew that once they were together in that way, he wouldn't be able to go back to the way things were before. He wanted to be her everything and he wanted her to feel the same way.

"Okay" Leah murmured back, digging her face against his shirt to find some kind of comfort in his scent. He smelt nice, like cool rain on a warm day mixed with that woodsy aroma, but it was nothing like Seth. She hated that Seth was all she could think about and she knew with out a doubt that he would be angry when she got home. "Plus I don't want him coming here and riling you up" She laughed as she tightened her grip around his waist. He was so much taller than her and she felt like a small child in his arms. Looking up at him she noticed the slight frown on his face.

Glancing at the window Embry noticed the flash of light from a cars headlights pulling into the driveway. Knowing and hearing his mother had trotted off to bed made him curious about the unknown person. Letting go of Leah he walked to the window and hoisted it up wondering who it might be. His heart dropped into his stomach as his eye locked with a furious looking Seth Clearwater who was scrambling out of the car and slamming the door behind him. His eyes were scorching and if they wouldn't have been so black they would have be red like flames. This was the last thing Embry wanted. Seth Clearwater always had a temper about him, especially when it came to his baby sister. Leah didn't know that one night down at a bar, Seth had almost changed the structural shape of one guys face with his fists. He'd been talking about how beautiful and young she was and how great it felt fucking someone who wasn't his boring wife. Seth had gone absolutely crazy and it was lucky that the guy didn't press charges.

"She up there?" Seth yelled out, clenching his fists open and closed to try and calm himself down. His anger felt like a large snake, hisses and coiling, ready to be set free on the nearest person. He'd been out of his mind the whole day worrying about her. He'd searched all over town and asked everybody if they'd seen his sister and they all offered him no information. It wasn't until he stopped by the store that he noticed Embry Call wasn't at work which was strange because the kid usually worked the weekends for the extra cash. Then like an epiphany he remembered Call had been waiting at the hospital the day Leah was taken in. It hadn't clicked at first as to why Embry was at the hospital but now it made sense. Plus then there was the 'date' they'd been on.

"Who is it?" Leah asked Embry, placing her hand on his shoulder and peeking out the window down to the parked car. Her breath caught immediately as Seth's head snapped towards her, with his teeth clenched. His eyes narrowed and she knew he was pissed. "Oh shit" Leah hissed back pedalling from the window to find her jeans. "Embry help me find them" She panicked, searching around the room.

"Find what?" He whispered watching as she ransacked his room throwing clothes and magazines from there resting places. She looked insane as she through bits and pieces around and if Seth wasn't standing on the grass looking ready to kill someone, he would have found it amusing.

"My jeans, damn you!" She snapped bending down to pull the covers away and look under the bed.

"Oh right!" He mumbled sifting through a pile of clothes, trying to snap him out of the daze of watching her bend and twist.

"Got em'" She whispered back, slipping the dark denim on and trying to tie her hair back or at least tame it down. Sleeping all day had given it that messy bed hair look and she knew what it would look like to Seth.

"LEAH!"

She didn't have time to find her shirt, so she grabbed Embry's hand and pulled him down the stairs with her. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she was scared to death Seth would try and hurt Embry, being the overprotective brother he was. Standing in front of the door, Leah kissed him quickly and rubbed his cheek with her palm. "Today was fun, we should do it again" She smiled at him trying to seem as calm as possible.

"You sure you want to go Leah? I could always tell him that you're going to stay here – with me?" He replied nervously glancing at the wood of the door like he could see through it to the crazed man on the other side.

"It's fine Em. I'll see you tomorrow?" She nodded, not giving him enough time to answer as she fled out the door.

Leah bounded down the steps and tried not to look at her brother as she made her way to his truck. She was looking down at her feet when she caught a glance of her jeans. "Damn it" She mumbled reaching to fix the button together and pull the zipper up.

"Having fun I see" Seth snapped, reaching for the passenger door to allow her to get in. He noticed the dishevelled look she had about her which only meant one thing. She was sleeping with the kid and he was going to come back in the middle of the night and blow his head off with his shot gun. Maybe he'd make him beg first and then pin him down to the floor boards with his boot on Embry's neck as he loaded the gun.

"I-" Leah started but was swiftly cut off.

"Get in the car" Seth growled, attempting to help her into the car making Leah slap away his hands.

"Don't touch me. I don't need your help" Leah hissed, pushing against his chest and stepping into the cab of the truck.

"You think it's wise to be seeing him? Have you told him what's _wrong _with you?" Seth chilled making Leah shrink back in her seat. Turning her face away she looked over to the drivers seat while he stood dangerously close to her, so close she could feel the heat of his breath against her neck. Her feelings were conflicted. On one end she wanted to slap him and tell him he was being an asshole and on the other she wanted to feel his breath against every part of her skin, his lips dragging across every plane of her body.

"There's nothing wrong with me" Leah whispered, wrapping her arms around her torso and laying her chin against her chest. She couldn't believe Seth had just said that.

Taking a deep breath Seth tried to quell his anger "You know that's not what I meant. I just – I was so worried, I couldn't find you and I-"

"Can we just go?" Leah mumbled, pulling her seat belt down and making sure not to look at him.

"Sure" He nodded, closing her door softly and walking over to the drivers side. As he open the door he glanced back up at the bedroom window and noticed Embry standing there. He could feel the jealous anger biting into him noticing the look on Embry's face. Nessie had the same look when she looked at him, and the fact the Embry was staring at Leah made him uneasy.

It was unfair that Embry Call could love his sister. It was unfair because if he had it his way, he would be the only man for her. He loved her before this _boy _and he wasn't going to give her up without a fight. Nessie of course was beautiful and perfect for him but he didn't want perfect. He wanted familiar, he wanted memories they'd _already _made, he wanted Leah waking up beside him and falling asleep against him. He wanted her long dark locks to pay with, her smooth bronzed skin to touch. He wanted all she had, and he wouldn't allow Embry Call to take it away.

Glancing up at the window Seth glared as Embry caught his eye once again. Giving Embry a silent message he dragged his thumb across his throat.

Embry was surprised and raised an eyebrow at Leah's brother. He wasn't sure what that was about but he read the message loud and clear.

_'Stay away or I'll kill you'_


	11. Warning: Lemon

**I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ XI ]

…

**Warning: Lemony goodness**

...

Pulling up to the house Leah quickly bounded towards the house only to be cut off by Seth. His form was so large she could barely see the pine door behind him as he stood in front of it. His dark eyes were looking at her, watching, waiting for an answer. An answer she couldn't give. An answer she herself didn't even know.

"Do you know how long I have been looking for you Leah. You cannot just leave when you feel like it. I am fucking responsible for you. What if something happened? What if you fell again? Hurt yourself? You could catch a cold in this weather. And sex? Really?" His jaw was tense, his eyes flashing with a fury she had not seen in a long time.

She wanted to protest his accusations but as soon as she opened her mouth, his hand flew up to signal her to stop. "Just get in the house" He grumbled, opening the handle and pushing the pine back.

Biting down on her lip, she fiddled her fingers together, not sure of what she was really doing. She had to know what was happening between them, why she still had the urge to kiss him, to feel his hard body underneath her hands. To love him more than a little sister should, more than his girlfriend could.

Walking towards him, she didn't give him time to think, but merely tugged his jacket down and pressed her lips against his. She could feel his hesitation, knew his eyes were wide with shock, but when she felt him shiver, she knew he wanted this. Her hands flew around his neck and his fingers clamped down on her hips, dragging her forward and pressing her tiny firm body against his. She was tall and lean, but compared to him she looked more like a child.

The taste of honey and tea seemed to intensify as his lips parted and dragged across her own begging for entry into the hot cavern of her mouth. With a small gasp she allowed him in. Their tongues curled, flattened, swirled against each others as their bodies became increasingly hotter, the mild groping that was going on, suddenly not nearly enough.

She could feel him harden against her stomach and she groaned out of pure lust. She wanted this most in the world. To a man she already loved. The man she knew everything about.

Pulling him inside by his collar, she pulled away and gave him a coy smile, knowing exactly what he was thinking. She watched as he palmed his jeans and kicked the door closed with his booted heel. His eyes were black with lust, his lips glistening with saliva, swollen like her own and begging to swell even more.

She slowly reached for the hem of her shirt and threw off Embry's tee, showing Seth the black bra underneath. His eyes racked her body appreciatively and she felt herself become even wetter just by hearing the low growl that was escaping his chest.

"You have no idea what you do to me" Seth moaned, watching as her hands cupped her own breasts. Her tits were amazing. And the bra, the bra was down right sexy. The lace of the cup allowed him to see her nipples, those tiny bites of heaven waiting to be worshiped by his tongue, licked, stoked and bitten by his mouth. Reaching for the buckle of his jeans, he slowly undid the belt, watching as she eyed him off, awaiting to see him.

"Oh I have a pretty good idea" She smiled as he pushed his jeans off his hips and reached for his cock through his boxers. Stroking it softly through his cotton boxers he could already feel the material dampen.

It was agonizing to watch her slide those jeans off her hips. Those luscious hips he'd watched turn from a child's into a woman's. Those hips that were strong and ready, ready to be made into a woman. He could see that she was waiting for him to say something, waiting for his approval. So he did the only thing he could. His long strides took him quickly across the living space and his lips once again melted into hers.

She was a natural born kisser, her lips plump and juicy. Lips that could handle anything, everything.

He growled as he pawed at her ass, pressing her deeper into him, feeling her soft curves that sat against the hardness of his own frame. Pushing her back towards the kitchen, he used his heels to dispose of his boots while her hands slid up his shirt and clawed at his flesh.

Grabbing a chunk of the material behind his neck he flung his shirt over his head and pressed into her again, this time more urgently. She was whimpering as his big hand slid under her bra, pushing the material higher up her chest, so he could squeeze down. He wasn't being gentle but he could tell she loved it as she grinded herself into him, her hips doing wicked things to his body.

His lips were everywhere. On her neck, her collar bone, back on her lips, trailing her shoulders. She felt like she was on fire, a burning cesspool of greedy lust that was consuming the area around them. Her hands snaked to his boxers and she allowed her hand to slide under the elastic to finally feel him. She felt powerful, like a god as she stroked his hardness, his own lips doing their own investigation of her body by tearing at her nipples and covering them with his hot mouth.

"I'm going to fuck you." He whispered as his hands spun her around and pushed the top half of her body over the wooden kitchen table. His hand slid between her legs and rubbed against the damp material of her knickers, feeling how ready she was for him. "You need this Leah. You need me in you"

Her back bowed as she felt him pull her underwear to the side. She could feel her own wetness running down her thighs and was ashamed at how much she actually did want it. Wanted him.

"Fuck! I need a rubber" He groaned as his fingers came in contact with her slit, running them back and forth over her silky folds. She was whining for him, moaning like a whore and he felt like he was about to explode. He couldn't wait to find a condom and proceeded. Dropping to his knees, he peeled her underwear down and licked across her pussy, tasting that sweet nectar.

Leah shrieked as she felt him push his tongue between her folds, stroking and nibbling at the highly sensitive flesh. Her mind was dizzy with lust, her body fading, his tongue taking her to blissful heights of endearment. "I want you so bad" She cried out, as his hand came down hard against the flesh of her ass, her knees almost buckling from the sensation.

"I want this first" He mumbled, as his hand worked and massaged over the now red skin of her ass cheek.

Leah's knuckled turned white as she gripped the table, feeling his tongue push inside of her once again. The coil in her stomach was tightening, her spring about ready to break and flow her juices all over her brothers lips. She gasped when she felt him circle her puckered hole with his thumb. She knew what he wanted, what other men had wanted but she'd denied. Before she could refuse him, she felt his arousal covered thumb pressed into her ass.

"Oh fuck - oh god" She panted as he pushed it in and out, his tongue still lapping, teasing, rolling her folds.

Pulling his thumb out, he slapped her ass again. "Open up for me. You're too tight" He demanded, rolling his thumb in her slit before jamming it back in her ass.

Leah cried out into the wood of the table as she felt her body explode, the pleasure becoming too much, too soon. She legs were quivering and her thigh were burning. She could barely see straight and she knew finally what kind of monster she had become.

"So sweet, so fucking sweet" He groaned as he pulled away and massaged her hips in his hands. Reaching for his boxers he pushed them down off his waist and grabbed at his cock. Stroking it only a few times, he pressed it into her and rubbed up and down her slit to prepare himself. His cock was leaking, her juices staining his hard member, invisibly marking him as her own. Somewhere in the back of his mind, something was screaming at him not to do this, not to fuck his sister but he couldn't hear it, nor did he want to.

Pressing the head of his cock into her opening, he just about came as he popped into her, the tip just resting inside of her, feeling those silky smooth walls squeezing the life from him. This was it. This was what he'd wanted ever since that kiss in the very same kitchen. He was going to become his sister's lover. And he was going to fucking enjoy it.


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ XII ]

…

The honking of a car horn, snapped Seth frozen in his stop, as the vehicle pulled up the Clearwater's driveway. He was quick to react, though disappointed. Pulling himself from her, he snatched his jeans up off the kitchen floor and placed his feet through the pant legs. This felt like that awkward moment were the parents were home and they'd just been busted. Seth was still flustered, still trying to clear the feeling of being so close to fully sheathing himself inside those silky walls. Plus he was hard, painfully so.

Leah was still panting, her heart racing as she tried to catch her breath. Her mouth was dry as she swallowed, her throat parched. She was so disorientated she wasn't sure which was up or down as she pushed herself up from the table. She was buzzing; her mind, her body, the apex between her legs. She needed to splash water over her face and over everything as pure electricity on her skin.

Seth gathered her clothes quickly and watched as she dressed herself, both of them not saying a word, and both being able to cut the air around them with a knife. He hated that this was awkward, that they'd actually crossed that point were nothing was no longer separating them from each other. The hardest part would be trying to find the words. Did they apologise for the heat of the moment? Was it just a slip? Were they going to do it again? Once the visitor left, were they going to crawl into bed, try again, cuddle?

It wasn't long before Leah was patting down her hair and clearing her throat uncomfortably trying to ease some tension. She could see the pained expression on Seth's face and wanted to smooth the worry lines from his forehead. She had no idea what they were doing. Nothing made sense anymore. As soon as she was about to ask Seth if they should answer the door or not, a loud ringing bang came from the front door.

"Clearwater, open up! You left the lights of your truck on" A deep voice bellowed making Leah visibly pale. Seth's eyes darted to Leah's quickly before he flattened out his collar and made his way to the door. This was all he needed, a fucking shit storm.

"Seth Clearwater, my how you have grown" Billy Black grinned as he leaned against the porch steps while the rest of his 'boys' stood idly by the truck, smoking and hollering amongst themselves. The beam of Billy's headlight's were partially blinding him and lighting the house up like it was the fourth of July.

"Billy" Seth relied flatly. There was something about Billy that never sat well with Seth, even when he was a little boy he hadn't trusted him. Billy and his 'Tribal Patrol' were people no one messed with, and if you didn't like their rules, you had an option to leave the reservation or put up with a hell of your own making.

Of course Billy was never one to give a direct threat, but you just knew what he meant - knew what he wanted of you. They weren't necessarily vigilantes but they made sure tribal justice was handed out fairly.

A husband cheated on his wife and had a child with a mistress; the husband was made to support not only his current wife but the woman he'd taken to his bed. A wife spent all the house hold income on liquor and gambling, Billy made sure to send his own wife around to 'check' up on how the kids were; if they were being fed, clothed, and schooled. If not, you could bet your bottom dollar, Billy would be at the doorsteps the very next day to 'help' you see the light.

Seth let out a cough of air as a set of keys landed in the middle of his chest, his hand clamping over them soon after. Looking down at the keys he recognised the small woven dream catcher attached.

"Left your keys in the ignition too. Must have been in a mighty hurry to get inside" Billy smirked as he bent down to touch something that was smeared on the wood of the porch. Pressing the liquid between his thumb and fore finger he grimaced. "Looks like this wood could use a dash of lacquer. My boy Jacob there-" Jerking his thumb towards the group of young men, Seth following the line of sight with his eyes "– mighty fine timber worker, could have this porch looking brand new in no time."

"Actually" Seth started clearing his throat. "I was going to do something about it this weekend. Whole house is looking a little dreary" It wasn't that he was lying; it was more that he just wanted to get rid of the old man. "Might even put a lick of paint on the old girl" Seth smiled patting the wood of the house.

"Speaking of girls- how is that sister of yours?" Billy asked. There was an edge in his voice, something he wasn't saying, and something he was holding back.

Before Seth could answer, he left Leah slide around him, standing with her back to him and smiling at Billy Black. "Hello Billy" Leah said gracefully and bounding into his out stretched arms.

"Dear child, look how beautiful you are, how much you look like _her_" He smiled as he pulled her shoulders back and took her in, letting her image soak into his memory. Sue Clearwater was his good friend, their history far outstretching that of her and Harry. Billy Black was once in love with their mother, more in love than he'd liked to admit to either his wife or himself. In some aspects he was still in love with Sue, still in love with the aura that was around her, the constant sunshine that shone from her heart. Her heart itself.

"Thank you Billy, how are you, how is your - JACOB!" Leah screamed, covering her mouth and laughing. She could see over Billy's shoulder, his son, pants around his ankles and mooning her like it was perfectly normal. The headlights of Billy's truck was illuminating his ass for the whole world to see, while the rest of the group of guys laughed, some even groaning at the tan hind.

Looking back over his shoulder Billy growled at his son's antics, watching as the boy re-did the belt of his pants and bounded over towards them.

"I told you I'd get you back Clearwater" He smiled, nudging his dad to the side and taking hold of Leah to swing her around.

"That was in like first grade"

"I'll never forget the white ass pressed against your bedroom window" He laughed as he slapped her behind. "10 years old and I can still remember it like yesterday"

"It's not even white!" Leah snorted as Jacob continued to spin "Jake - put me down" She laughed, her cheeks turning red and her face burning with embarrassment. "You ass"

"Jacob" Billy said in an irritated tone. "Put her down" Glancing back at Seth, Billy noticed that the boys knuckles were turning white as he gripped the door, watching as Leah and Jacob playfully jerked each other around.

Seth was not comfortable at all with Jacob having his hands all over Leah, touching her like she was his. His hands on her hips, his lips near her ear.

"Leah" He said sternly making the laughing and giggling stop.

Giving a sad sigh, Leah hugged Jacob once more before walking back towards Billy, giving him a simple kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later Billy. And call me ass face" She smiled at Jacob before slipping past Seth and back into the house.

"Come by for dinner any time Leah. Sarah would love to have you" Billy said sweetly before dropping a glare at Seth who closed the door and stood in front of it with crossed arms.

"Keeping her on a tight leash I see" Jacob commented with a sneer.

"She is none of your business" Seth shot back quickly without even a breathe in between, glaring back at him. Even though they'd gone to school together, he'd never really liked Jacob. The guy used to tall, dark and handsome jig to his advantage. He'd bedded nearly the whole female student body while they'd been at Tribal School together and even had the nerve to take Leah to a party when she was fifteen. She'd come home drunk out of her mind, a thong around her neck and her shirt tucked into the tiniest skirt he'd ever seen.

"Ohhh touchy. How bout you take that stick Forks Police have shoved so far up your-"

"Enough Jacob, back to the truck" Billy snapped, pointing his finger back towards the vehicle but keeping his eyes on the man in front of him.

"But Dad - he's an asshole" Jacob whined, kicking his boot making him seem 12 and not 23.

"To. the. truck." Billy gritted out, giving his son a side glare.

"You're the boss" He huffed bounding back to the group of hooligans down below.

"So-" Billy started as soon as Jacob was out of hearing range "Nice young man like yourself should be thinking of settling down and getting ready to start a family. Tell me Seth, you have a girlfriend in the picture?"

"Yeah" Seth answered his head cocking to the side out of suspicion. "What of it?"

Ignoring Seth's answer Billy continued "You know Seth, I like you, I really do. But that little girl in their is closer to me than you'll ever be. Your mother may have been Quileute but she left this place, went with a white man to have her fun. That girl in there has true blood lines to this tribe, strong, unbreakable blood. No matter what you do, you'll always be - less - than her."

Taking a step down the porch, Billy watched as the boys climbed into the truck, some opting to sit in the tray for the rest of the rounds they be doing for the night. "Just remember little Seth... I'm watching you - keeping an eye out for my interests - so to speak."

"And what interests would they be?" Seth growled, clenching his fists by his sides.

"Why - a lovely daughter in law of course." Billy mused as he took the rest of the steps, his big black boots, making the wood almost tremble under his muscular weight.

"You touch one single fucking hair on her-"

"Same could be said for yourself Seth. Remember who's chief in these parts. I have eyes everywhere boy, ears that even hear a pin drop in the middle of the forest." Billy opened the door of his cab and smiled back at the boy. "After all, big bad Billy Black owns this reservation"


	13. Warning: Lemon II

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ XIII ]

…

Seth climbed the stairs and came to a stop outside Leah's door. He contemplated just going to his room and falling asleep, maybe pulling one out to relieve himself, but he thought he should maybe talk to Leah. Get her perspective on things. After all, it wasn't everyday you had your baby sister bent over a table and panting.

He groaned as he felt his jeans tighten again, just remembering all that tan skin over her back, the way it dipped in between her shoulder blades and the way her spine rose from her skin. His cock was rock hard, pulsing to it's own rhythm under the material just thinking about sliding back into that heat and hearing those muffled cries.

Before he could rap against the door with his knuckles, the pine gently opened to reveal Leah standing behind it, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, looking up at him through those eyelashes. She was heavenly, a dose of innocent lined with a whole shit storm of evil. She wore only a long shirt and knowing that he had ripped her panties in half in the kitchen, he had a huge suspicion that there was nothing under the tee but her sex.

Before she could blink, he pushed his way inside and slammed his lips against hers. His hands caught in her hair, his body pressed against hers as he walked her back into the room, leading her to the inevitable softness of the bed.

Groaning into his mouth she allowed her tongue to run against his, tasting that unexplainable tea and honey flavour. She wondered where it had come from, why he tasted like that, pondering also if other parts of him tasted as sweet and dewy. She knew without a doubt she had to find out. If she didn't she would always have the inexplicable need to know, taste and devour him each time.

Spinning them, she pushed away from him sending his calves into the edge of the bed and causing him to topple on to the double bed. He growled lowly in his throat as she smirked and walked towards her side table to retrieve a condom. She knew it was better to be safe than sorry. How in the world would she explain a baby - with her brother no less. As she burrowed in the draw she heard the squeak of the beds springs and watched as he leant over, his arm outstretched and reaching for her.

His hand cupped the back of her knee allowing it to just feel that smooth skin for a moment. He made a metal note to lick at the back of her knees to taste her there later. He wanted it all. Letting his hand wander higher and higher he reached that soaking wet pussy that had been begging him in the kitchen, begging it to be stretched, filled with only him. Brushing the edge of his index finger against her folds, he felt her tighten her thighs to clamp and trap his fingers, stilling them in their wake.

"Not yet Seth - lose the jeans" She moaned, as she reached down to stroke his hand lovingly between her thighs before pushing him away.

With a small pout he did what she instructed and wiggled out of the jeans. He wanted so badly to taste that sweet pussy again but it seemed she had different plans. _Fucking_ plans. And that was fine by him. He was more excited than he had even been before. Nessie was a great girl. Fun, loving, sweet; but she wasn't Leah. No matter how hard Ness tried, she would never equate to anything Leah was.

He couldn't help but stroke himself a couple of times, tug at his balls, as he watched her saunter to the end of the bed, her long legs making her seem like she could float on air. Keeping his cock in his hands, he propped himself up on one elbow and watched her.

With the plastic package in between her teeth, Leah let her eyes wander over Seth's body. He was truly the most perfect specimen of the male population. He was so fucking handsome, his body was tight, even that wispy hair made her just that little bit wetter. From the veins in his cock, to the veins in his forearms, she knew that no man would ever make her reach the heights of lust she was currently in. Embry was sweet, someone who she pictured having fun with, sitting around on a couch and laughing with, but he was no Seth.

Slipping her hands under her shirt, she pulled at it slowly, allowing him to watch every single muscle move under her skin as she rose up on her toes and stretched out, discarding the shirt once again to the floor.

Seth moaned as he stroked himself a little faster, pawing at his balls as he waited for her to finally come to him. He was so ready it hurt. He needed her, more now, than ever before. He needed those legs, those smoky eyes, that devil pussy.

Slinking across the bed, Leah let her hands wander up over his knees, up over his thighs, to cup his heated sack as he stroked himself slowly, putting pressure at the base before bringing his hand up over the head to pinch the tip.

"Touch me baby" Seth groaned, feeling her fingers explore from his balls to the inside of his thighs and back again. She was tormenting him, watching him squirm, her touches so light if he closed his eyes he might of been alone in the room.

"Open your eyes" She whispered to him, her cool breath making his sensitive skin crawl. He hadn't even noticed he'd closed his eyes, so when they fluttered open he was surprised to see her hand on him, his own pushed away. He watched as she lazily dragged her thumb over the head of his cock to smear the moisture there into his skin. He bit back a moan as she raised his cock and ran her lips along the underside of his heated member, the head brushing back and forth over her cheek as she moved.

His thigh twitched as she poked out her tongue and dragged it over his dick, feeling the throbbing heat against her pink organ. She made sure to look up at him as she took him in her mouth, sliding down the length until she was nose deep in his patch of dark hair.

"Oh God - fuck - that's so good" Seth moaned, stroking his fingers through her thick hair and fisting the ends. He so desperately wanted to push her back down as she slid back off him, every time, so he could fuck that pretty mouth. He wanted to, but he wouldn't. She deserved more than that, more that to be violated that way, humiliated.

"Suck me baby"

The words that he spoke were turning her on, making her so hot she was sure she was already half way to her peak by just sucking on him. She knew that if she kept this up it would be over before she got to have him fill her, stretch her out over the wide girth of his dick.

Letting his cock drop from her mouth with a pop, she tore the plastic wrapped in half and placed the condom in her mouth, letting her tongue poke it every now and then to adjust it. Seth gazed down looking at his saliva coated member and shivered at the way it stood so proud and tall for her - only her. His moan intensified as her watched her condom filled mouth start at the tip and then push down. He wanted to buck, squirm, wrap her hand in her hair until his knuckles turned white - but he didn't. Instead he bit down on his bottom lip - hard.

Only being able to slide the rubber on over the tip, Leah removed her mouth and began stroking him down, effectively rolling the condom over him to sheath him in the transparent cover. Continuing the motions of stroking him, she rolled her tongue over his sack, tasting, testing him. To feel his thighs clench made her nipples tighten impossibly so.

Crawling up his body she sat on his stomach, her hands finding his and trapping them above his head. She kissed him hard, jamming her tongue into his mouth and rocking against him so he could feel her wetness, what he had done to her. She moaned into his mouth feeling his cock stabbing towards her trying to fill her. She allowed his hands free while her own cupped his face and jaw, kissing him feverishly.

Seth's hands clamped down on her ass, massaging it, pawing it, readying it. Slipping his hands under her thighs, he opened her a little more and pressed his heels into the bed to reach her. His cock slid inside her perfectly as he pushed her back down, pushing her onto his rock hard member.

They both groaned into the wet kiss, Leah feeling him filling her completely, while Seth feeling those tight wet walls that were clamping down and suffocating his cock.

Pulling away Leah slid back and inch more and pressed her palms against his chiselled chest, steadying herself while one of his hands remained on her ass and the other began plucking her nipple, playing her perfectly. Each time he twisted and flicked at her peak she felt it shoot straight to her clit, making it a painful pleasure.

"Fuck me Seth" She groaned out, slamming her hips down against his as his cock stabbed into her pussy.

"Damn Lee - fuck. I need you, I fucking need you" He growled, pushing and pulling her ass back and forth so her pussy rode him just how he liked it.

Pushing back she leant back at an almost impossible angle and dug her nails into his thighs, so he could see the show clearly.

His cock swelled as he watched it plunge in and out of her pussy, it's whole length coated with her sex juices, the sounds driving him crazy. Without a second thought he reached down and began to strum her clit hard, feeling her nails dig tighter into his skin and waiting to feel her thighs tremble.

"Cum around my cock baby. Cum for me" He hissed feeling his own back rise off the bed.

Knowing that his release was imminent, he snatched her up, sitting at the same time, allowing their chests to press together.

Feeling the new position and how deep he was going inside her Leah moaned out his name over and over again, riding him with wanton passion.

"I've waited so long for you" He drawled, sucking along her pulse point and thrusting into her. "_So long_"

"Seth" She cried out, arching back and digging her nails into his shoulders, feeling her orgasm flow through her like a tide.

Her pussy clamped down hard around his cock as Seth claimed her lips and swallowed her cries. She was shaking in his arms, her pussy quivering and her cream dripping down over his thighs.

With two more powerful thrusts, his back tensed and he shuddered, feeling his cock explode inside her. "I love you" He breathed as he held her tightly to his chest and let her rock over him until they were spent. Brushing her hair to the side, he kissed her shoulders, her throat, her breasts and her lips. "I love you" He said again, watching her eyes filled with tears.

"I love you too Seth." She whimpered as she rose up a little from his lap and let his cock slip from her. "So very very much"

* * *

AN - 0_o? Awkward...


	14. Chapter 14

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ XIV ]

…

Seth sat against the couch; his legs sprawled out in front of him and his hands drawn behind his back. The small slithers of sun light that filtered through the house as the sun descended, danced across his shirted chest. His eyes watched his sister as she sat at the opposite end of the couch, her knees tucked underneath her and an old worn book in her hands.

He smiled discreetly, indulging in watching as her lips parted and a silent mumbled slipped between them, as if she were reading the book on mute. Her hair dipped from her ears making her reach up and tuck the black tresses back out of the way.

"What you reading?" He whispered, not wanting to break the almost comfortable silence they felt around them. Pulling her leg from underneath her, he let her heel rest upon his lap before kneading the splendid arch of her foot.

It was strange how only in a few days their already strong relationship seemed to get that much stronger. They'd lie in bed together talking about things they'd done in the past, discussing things that would hopefully happen in the future. To both of them it seemed too good to be true; that the person that fitted them like a glove was right in front of their eyes, the whole time.

"It's nothing" Leah replied, tucking the book away from his sight.

Rolling his knuckles into the ball of her foot, a sweet moan escaped her lips. "Nothing? Well then why are you hiding it from me?" Seth grinned, pulling her ankle forward in hopes of pulling her whole body to him. He doubted that he would ever have his fill – ever have enough of her.

Rolling her eyes Leah flashed Seth the cover of the book. "I'm not hiding it – _see_?"

Seth chuckled once her caught sight of the book. "Why are you reading _that_?"

Leah shrugged, attempting to play off his laughter. "No reason, just that I - umm - never mind"

"Come on Lee" Seth teased, letting her foot down and shuffling closer to her. Reaching out he brushed her hair from her shoulder and pressed his lips against her neck. "Tell me" He rasped, cupping her cheek and continuing to kiss her tenderly, trailing down to her exposed collar bone.

"Oh" She breathed, her eyes closing and her hand grasping the back of Seth's neck to keep him in place. He'd figured out pretty easily that nipping at her neck turned her into goo and the asshole was now using it to his advantage.

"Tell me"

"You'll laugh"

Drawing his mouth away from her throat Seth gave her a lopsided smile and kissed the corner of her mouth. "I promise I won't laugh. Scout's honor." He mumbled holding up his fingers in a salute.

Pushing his hand away Leah snorted. "You were never in the Boy Scouts moron"

"And?" He replied, cocking his head to the side in a playful manner.

Letting out a sigh Leah nodded, giving into him. "Well - I was thinking, maybe after the surgery - that _we_ could - go to Italy again."

Pulling away Seth frowned. "You want to go to Italy" He asked flatly. She knew he may not be comfortable with the idea. She knew over the years Seth had kept in contact with his birth mother. They weren't close but she sent him a card on both his birthday and Christmas. She always wanted to go back after the initial trip they'd taken. Now she was older she hoped that she would see things differently, experience more than just the things young teenagers saw. Especially now that she was in love.

"I don't know Leah" Seth sighed, pushing himself from the couch and dredging to the kitchen.

Opening the fridge he grasped the orange juice carton in his hand and drank greedily from it. He didn't want to go back. Back to the country in which the woman who abandon him lived. The cards his _mother_ sent bi-annually always requested that he visit her, that he meet his father's family who still lived in the region and that she would provide handsomely from him if she did.

"Why not?" Leah pouted, folding her arms against her chest and pushing her lip out like a five year old.

"You might not be able to travel. What if there are complications, what if-"

"Fine." She whispered, turning away from him to head back into the living room.

Letting out a groan, Seth placed the carton back in the fridge and caught her elbow. "Wait, just wait" She stilled for him as he sighed again, wrapping his long arms around her and burying his nose in her hair. "Are you sure that's what you want?" He asked, his hot breath ruffling through her hair.

"Yeah. I want to go"

"Fuck" He groaned closing his eyes and snuggling closer to her. "Alright, we _may_ be able to work something out. But first we need to see Doctor Cullen tomorrow"

Spinning in his arms Leah lay her head against his chest and hugged him tightly. "Why?"

"I've been reading about this new - uh - treatment they're testing in Europe. The first of it's kind. They inject a special growth treatment into Cancer patients and it somehow merges with the cancer cells. After about a month they start with Chemotherapy sessions." Twirling a piece of her jet black hair in his hands he sighed. "You'll lose all your hair, but if it works out, you won't need surgery."

"My hair?" Leah gulped, looking up at Seth.

Grasping her face in his hands he leaned down and kissed her softly - slowly. "You'll still look beautiful. Plus - it's only hair, It'll grow back"

"And I won't have to have surgery?"

Wrapping her hand in his, he tugged her towards the stairs. "We'll ask Doctor Cullen tomorrow" He grinned mischievously at her.

"Why not now?" Leah pouted as she followed her brother up the stairs and to his bedroom.

"Because-" He replied huskily, fisting the material of his shirt over his head and throwing it to the ground. "I want you all to myself today"

"Seth!" Leah squealed as he growled at her and lunged. He was fast but she was faster. She managed to scurry over the bed before his big hands caught her and she almost keeled over in laughter watching him trip on the leg of the bedpost.

"I told you not to run in the house" She teased as she launched herself on to the bed. Getting to her feet she jumped excitedly doing a victory dance across the blue sheets, singing out a song of 'I told you so'. Their mother had always scolded them when they'd ripped through the house brandishing water balloons or whatever source of weapon they could use against each other.

When Seth didn't move she let herself bounce to a stop. Crouching over the bed her ears perked up when she heard the soft mumble of a sob. Seth hands were over his face and his shoulder's looked like they were shaking. Was he crying?

"Oh my God" Leah shrieked, jumping from the bed to hover over her brother. "Are you okay? Is something broken? Are you hurt?" She grimaced pushing his hair off his forehead. "Talk to me Seth - show me where it hurts"

Letting only one hand away from his face he grasped her hand. Leah squeezed back as I sign that she was ready and waiting. Was it his chest, did he fall and hurt his jaw? She watched as he pulled her hand further and further down his body. Maybe an ankle.

"You have to kiss it better" He whined.

Leah's eyes widened before they sat in slits. Seth had guided her hand straight to his crotch, the bulge underneath clearly indicating what was 'hurting'.

Letting the hand that lay over his face slip down, he revealed to her the large grin which he was hiding.

"You're an asshole" She mumbled, as he perched himself up on his elbow and began kissing her throat.

"Well I have to be, when you don't play _fair_" He smirked, pulling her neck down so he could lie back down on the floorboard with her over him.

"Fair?" She scoffed as she slipped her shirt off and wrapped it around his neck to pull him into a sitting position while she straddled his lap. "I don't play _fair_ - because you play dirty mister"

"Hmm" Seth hummed. "Say it again" He loved kissing the tops of her breasts which were being held by a dainty yellow number. Everything about her was soft, feminine and sublime.

"What? _Dirty_?" She laughed, feeling him brushing his thumbs over her ribs.

Nodding, Seth strategically twisted them both up and lay her gently on the bed. "Say you're my dirty girl"

"What? I am so~o not saying that" Leah protested as Seth raised her arms over her head and pinned them against the pillow.

"Fine. Then I have to punish you" He whispered huskily into her ear as one hand held her wrists together and the other traveled down her body. "You are going to be sorry baby"

Seth's hand brushed against the inside of her thigh making Leah bite her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want to say it?" He smiled cockily, running his index finger over and over the flesh there.

Shaking her head in reply, Leah's lip began to burn from the intense pressure of her teeth biting into the skin.

"So be it" Within a split second, Seth's hand crawled under her gym shorts and panties looking for the place of pleasure that was going to break the last bit of his sisters resolve.

...

Embry sat in his mothers car which he had parked just outside the gates of the Clearwater property. His hands trembled slightly and his ears and eyes burned like he had seen the devil himself.

With shaky hands he tried to wipe the image from his eyes, the sounds also that had come with those images. He was trembling, not only out of anger from being played but from fear.

After a few calming breathes of trying to collect himself he pulled his belt down and threw the car into drive.

If Leah thought she could just play around with his heart like that she was wrong. Had meeting his mother meant nothing? Had his words meant nothing? Maybe he had pushed her away from not having sex with her that very first night she lay with him? Maybe he'd just imagined what he'd seen and he'd been wrong?

Shaking the images from his mind, he pulled onto the path and headed to the one man that would be able to help him.

It wasn't often that Embry sought the help of Billy Black, but this reason seemed credible. He hoped Billy would be able to find out more, clear his suspicions.

Surely he couldn't have witnessed an incestuous act going on it the Clearwater house. _Surely_-


	15. Chapter 15

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ XV ]

…

Billy's fingertips dug into the wooden arms of the old chair he sat in. It was lucky he had sent the rest of the boys including Jacob down to old Quil's place to grab another batch of resin for the roof thatching the boys were doing to the tribal hall. He watched Embry's mouth move but somehow the words weren't registering properly as they should have. The story seemed to run deeper and deeper. In some ways it even made sense. Why the siblings seemed so close, so connected at the hip like in some sick Woody Allen flick.

So many questions and not enough answers swirled in Billy's head.

How long had this been happening? What would Susan have said if she were still alive? Did anyone else know? Was Seth using Leah in some kind of sick game for his own fantasies?

His questions definitely needed answers. It unnerved him how the boy could have stood in front of him and lied. How this type of thing could be happening under his watch, in his reservation. The girl was the daughter of his beloved Susan, the woman whom even in death he couldn't help but remember nor love. A promise of protection to Susan did not heed boundaries, it extending to both her children and her children's children. The boy did not sit under either.

He closed his eyes and contemplated what should be done. Obviously Seth was older, he had been looking after Leah for a while now, he should have known better than to have sex with his, by all intensive purposes, little sister. Even though they weren't blood, the boy had been raised by her parents, taken in by Harry and Susan out of the goodness of their hearts. And all the boy could do was sleep with their only child, take advantage of her, use her.

There would be no point in going to the authorities. This kind of thing had to be kept secret. This kind of thing would be dealt with by him _personally_. Not many people knew that Seth was not the biological son of the Clearwater's and the tribe would be up in arms with such a situation. Blood or not, they were supposed to be kin not - lovers.

...

Seth woke early that morning to find Leah still asleep. The sheet had fallen to her waist and the skin of her upper body looked too tantalising not to touch. Stroking the side of her breast Seth lowered his lips to her cheek and kissed her softly. The content breath and small moan that escaped her lips left him giddy as he slipped from the bed to take a shower.

Running his hands through his hair he contemplated Leah's request of going to Italy. It seemed like a better idea than staying in the states especially with the offer of the more advanced procedure that seemed to also have a higher success rate of keeping the illness at bay and not having it re-form.

While his mother had been in contact with him, she had told him about the large sum of guilt money his father had left him. Apparently he was wealthy as fuck and left Seth, his only son, much of his inheritance, which was probably why his mother wanted him to meet the estranged family.

Having that money though, would guarantee Leah a place on the procedure list and pay for the treatments. Maybe they wouldn't come back. Maybe they would buy a little villa somewhere in the country, surrounded by vines and vines of grapes, grapes they could pluck and make wine with. Leah would be able to rest in the sun, plant any type of flowers she wanted. Maybe they could even have a family, children, be married quietly under a vine of olives, make love all day long.

Smiling he turned the taps of the shower off. After a word to Doctor Cullen and hopefully a referral, that is exactly what they would do. Fuck the reservation they lived on. This would be a fresh start, a chance for both of them to live full and happy lives without being ridiculed or tormented. They didn't need the small minds of the people around them. Even though they weren't bound by blood, no one would understand. No one could even begin to imagine the type of love they had between them.

Slipping on his track pants he ran the towel through his hair attempting to dry the mop of sandy brown hair. Today seemed like a good day to start the plans of their travel. With both passports still valid and what money they still possessed from their mother, they would be able to make it on their own for a while. After a check up with Dr. Cullen, they would start packing, arrange the flights and fax over her medical records to the foreign hospital.

Walking back into the room, Seth froze. Instead of the sleeping angel he had left in the bed, sat his worst nightmare.

Billy Black's huge form sat at the end of the bed, the mattress bulking under his muscled weight. His black boots were tapping impatiently against the floorboards as he looked up with the blackest eyes Seth had ever seen.

If Seth hadn't been so distracted by Billy's gaze, he may have noticed Jacob standing at his side, shot gun raised over his head. Fire exploded across Seth's eye socket as Jacob brought the butt of the gun down against the man's face. Seth didn't even have time to grab his face to ease the throbbing pain or break his fall before he blacked out and hit the floorboards with a thud.

"You sick son of a bitch" Jacob hissed kicking Seth in the jaw while he was down only to receive no response.

...

"Please Sarah, don't let them hurt him" Leah pleaded, holding on to the older women's arm as she let her guide her from the house.

"Hush child. Billy will take care of everything. Such a mess you have both made" Sarah said firmly, leading Leah to the car out front.

Leah struggled in the woman's hold wanting to run back into the house and help her brother. "Stop it. Let go! SETH! SETH!" She screamed, tossing and turning, trying to make an escape from the woman she'd known all her life as her mother's best friend.

"He brought this on himself child"**  
**

"Jacob! JACOB! Help me!" She screamed, clawing and fighting against Sarah's vice grip around her wrists. "Please _someone_"

Leah didn't care that the sheet had fallen from her shoulder's and beside's the underwear she wore, she was practically bare. Walking through a group of men she tried to grab on to them, plead with them to help her but they all simply looked away from her naked form.

"I know you." She accused at one of the men who had turned away. "Jared please. Please don't let her take me away" Reaching out her arm she was able to grab the sleeve of his shirt and drag him a few steps.

With a grunt, Jared pushed her hand away and looked back to the house. "I don't know you at all"

"Liar! LIAR! You motherfucker! Kim is going to hear all about this. You and your small wandering dick! I've had you! I bet you didn't tell your wife that one. Kim is going to know everything you fucker."

"You wouldn't dare" He hissed, his eyes blackening as he reached out and grabbed her upper arm.

"Leave her be son. This is not your fight."**  
**

Leah winced feeling the familiar squeeze of his huge hands on her body. Leaning her head back she spat in his face before Sarah threw her in the passenger side of a truck. "Sit there and don't move" The older woman commanded with a pointed finger.

"Fuck you, you old bitch! What are they doing to him" Leah hissed as the door was aptly slammed in her face. "Let. me. out" She screamed batting wildly against the glass window and attempting to open the door. Somehow it had been locked from the outside and she didn't have a fighting chance of opening it.

Pressing her hands and nose to the glass she felt her breath catch as she watched Jacob and his brother in law Paul, drag the limp body of her brother from the house. His hair hung in his face as the men dragged him off the porch by his upper arms and threw his body on to the dirt. She could see that he was still breathing but his eye was already swollen shut and blood was trickling down from his hair.

"Seth!" She cried, watching as Billy stepped from the house with a shot gun slung over his shoulder.

"No, no, no" Leah chanted, beating the glass with her hands.

"Sarah" Billy's voice boomed. "Take the girl to our place and have her cleaned up and decent. We'll take care of the boy"

Tears ran freely down her face as she clawed at the window, kicked against the door to force it open. Looking around wildly she noticed Embry standing off to the side, his hulking form next to his mother's car. Waving her hands she screamed out to him, trying to gain his attention.

Their eyes locked for what felt like a whole minute before he shook his head and turned away.

Her heart crumbled inside watching him slink into his car and drive away. This is why she couldn't trust people, exactly this reason. The moment when she needed them most, they all left. She thought Embry was, if nothing else, her friend.

"Move over" Paul instructed as he slid in next to her.

Cowering away from him she clutched at the sheet and wrapped it around her shoulders tightly. With suspicious eyes she watched him leaning against the door and turn to her.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"Help me" She pleaded as she watched Sarah stride towards the car. "Please"

"We _are_ helping you. By making sure that sick fuck doesn't hurt you any more." Reaching out he brushed his fingertips delicately along her arm. Lowering his voice he couldn't help but run his tongue out along his bottom lip. "You're a beautiful girl, truly. I can see why he would-"

"Get your fucking hands off me" Leah spat. She could feel Paul's hands press down against her body.

"I bet you didn't put up a fight against him did you?" He hissed grabbing her by the throat and pinning her to the door. "I bet you let him have you" He hummed. "I've heard so many things about you little girl" Her spine crawled as his hot breathe circled her ear. "How much of a slut you are, how willing you are to open these long legs-"

"Get. off" She cried as his fingers slid over her legs.

"How you scream like a wanton whore- How you beg for it, how you crave attention from those who think you are nothing"

"Paul!" Sarah exclaimed as she unlocked the door and slid in "Do not touch her. Or have you forgotten who your wife is?"

Nodding Paul let his fingers drop from her throat.

"What will they do to him?" Leah sobbed as she rubbed her fingers over her throat.

"Everything is going to be alright. We will protect you now. He will never come near you again" Sarah whispered as she patted Leah's hair.

"Welcome to the family, Leah Clearwater"

* * *

AN - Yay! I am back! My trip was boss! I rode an elephant, drank bin-tang while watching the sun go down, ate Mi-Goreng and Satays until I felt sick, motored a jet-ski at full throttle and got drunk with the two drivers our group hired to take us around Bali. OoooOOO and there is my new tattoo which I am in love with... BTW I am totally crushing on Chris Hemsworth at the moment... THOR? 0_o? Seriously? *drools* I think its the stubble, the long hair and holy fuck cluster... that body! Combined him, Wolverine, Jane from the Mentalist, and the guy from the new series of Hawaii-five-0 and god damn... It's an Australian orgy of hotness! WANT!


	16. Chapter 16

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ XVI ]

…

Seth woke up groggily, his eye hurt like fuck and his jaw was killing him. Turning over on his side he coughed feeling a trickle of liquid run down his throat. The metallic taste of blood burned against his tongue and he chocked back feeling his saliva thicken from it.

"Tell me son, what kind of man do you think you are?" The thick voice whispered through the dim light of the room. Seth could barely register which direction the voice was coming from. His head throbbed, his words were jumbled as he tried to answer the voice. The last thing he remember was walking from the bathroom to the bedroom after a night with-

"_Leah_ - where. is. she?" He gasped, his palms attempting to push himself up off the floor. Bolts of pain shot through his arms as they quivered to hold his upper body up.

"Leah? She is in a far better place now. Somewhere where she is safe from harm."

"Tell me - where... she _is_" His breaths turned into long gasps as he tried to speak. He felt as though someone had used a hammer and smashed it against his skull. Like a heavy liquid sat behind his eyes and he was drowning.

"Seth, Seth, Seth" Billy tisked as he watched the boy struggle to place his bearings. "You really think I would tell you where she is after what you did to her?" Leaning down Billy snatched a large chuck of the boys hair back and looked him straight in the eyes. "You will never see her again. Not ever. You come near her or I get the slightest inkling that you have been in contact with her, I'll make sure no one ever finds _you_ again - at least not alive"

"You can't keep me away from her!" Seth yelled, barring his teeth and pulling up a knee to wobble unsteadily on it.

"Wrong. I _can_ keep her. She is part of _my_ tribe. She is in the care of the chief."

Sitting now on both knees Seth craned his neck taking a deep breath. "You don't deserve to be chief William Black. You _cannot_ own a people. Eventually they will rebel and see you for what you truly are. I have seen it since I was a boy but I was unsure what it was called until now."

"Tell me boy" Billy laughed as he stood from the stool, stretching out his bulky legs and raising his arms above his head. "Tell me what you see. Tell me what you think I am"

Spitting out a languid line of blood Seth grinned as he palmed the dirt. "Fraud." He hissed "A lamb dressed in a lions cloth. You may be _born_ chief, but you will never lead a people. Not ever"

Seth yelped when he felt the large fist of Billy Black fall down against his cheek. The sheer brute force of the man had loosened the molars in the back of his mouth and he could feel blood once again circle his taste buds.

"I will make you sorry Seth Wenhoek. I will make everything bad that has ever happened in your life seem like a fucking fairytale. I will make your mother sorry she ever left a piece of shit like you behind"

Laughing, Seth held his stomach, feeling the displacement of ribs. "And what makes you think that care about what you do to me? I am not afraid of you Black. Not you or anyone of your disciples"

Using his boot, Billy slammed the hard black leather across Seth's face and watched him turn into a limp pile of man. Crouching down Billy sighed and rolled his shoulders. "You'll wish for death - long before it comes Wenhoek."

...

Sarah watched as Leah lay in the bathtub. Her eyes remained like lifeless pools of brown sand and her mouth was set in a constant state of despair. Ever since they had pulled away from the house she had turned into some sort of a empty shell. She hadn't spoken since, barely managing to blink three times every minute.

Grasping the cream coloured loofah Sarah squeezed part of the honey bath scrub on to the end and began to scrub and cleanse the girls body. Her hair needed shampooing and the girl needed at least a decent piece of clothing. Rachel had brought over a few items and Sarah was able to salvage much of the second hand clothing her daughters had left behind once they'd finished high school and married.

"It's going to be okay child. Your safe now." Eliciting no response from the girl, Sarah continued to scrub her arms starting from her shoulder to her wrists.

It unnerved Sarah how alike Leah looked to Susan. When her husband began to rant and round up the boys she was unsure what it was really all about until they arrived at the Clearwater home. She'd felt a pang of jealousy rise in her stomach and she felt sick to her core. It was always about the Clearwater's.

She had remembered the many times she'd had driven past the same house to find her husband's car out front. His excuse was always the same. That the woman was sick, that she needed him, and that he was guiding her spirit to the other world before it was trapped in this one. Sarah could only do what the wife of the Chief should. She nodded and went home to care for their children, feed them, bathe them, and put them to sleep. All the while her husband was out comforting a woman who wasn't her. After time went on Sarah just learned to except that her husband found something in the other woman she could not give him.

Susan lit the fire in Billy's eyes. She laughed with him, talked in low whispers with him and even touched him softly, even in front of the eyes of many. She was the other woman yet Susan was the only one who could truly make him happy. At night in bed, Sarah would wonder how many times her husband wished she was Susan, how he wished their children were bore from _her_ and how he wished he'd married _her_ instead.

Sarah had known Billy was in love with Susan - _still_ in love with Susan.

"You look like your mother you know" Her voice was shaky but dangerous as she scrubbed harder against Leah's skin. Images of Susan touching her husband swirled in her mind, of tight embraces and of intertwined legs. "_Too_ much in fact. You know - I always hated that woman. Prancing around the reservation like she was a goddamn saint." Scoffing Sarah gripped Leah's wrist harder making her whimper. "Trust me girl, she was no saint. I'd know. You're lucky you look like her. I think my husband is trying to _save_ you, like he couldn't save your _mother_."

"I hate you" Leah whispered trying to pull away from the woman.

Snatching her wrist back and throwing the loofah in Leah's face Sarah hissed. "The feeling is mutual. But heed this _girl_, you lay one hand on my husband and I'll gut your pretty little body and hang your skin out to dry like those fucking fish he brings home" Slamming the door behind her, Leah could hear the woman stomping down the stairs before a barrage of pots and pans started to sound from the downstairs kitchen.

Thinking over Sarah's words, Leah pulled herself from the tub and dried off her body. A semi plan formed in her mind and she prayed to the Gods it would work. She had to save Seth, she had to get him as far away from the Black property as possible. She knew Billy would have him hauled up in the shed out back like she'd heard had happened to others, but to be able to get there and escape, was easier said than done.

Slipping into the grey track pants and purple hooded jacket which belonged to one of the Black twins she quietly slipped out of the bathroom and made her way down the hall. It was dark through the house and she careful tiptoed, making sure not to bump into anything

"And where do you think you're going Lee?" Jacob asked from behind her in his smooth sweet voice. Truth be told, his voice was like an angels to her ever wandering mind.

Leah jumped as she spun to find Jacob leaning against the hallway wall, watching her with his dark eyes. "Jacob, thank god. You need to help me" She pleaded running up to him and weaving her arms around him.

Out of instinct Jacob hugged her back and held her close. He missed this between them. The friendship they once shared. "It's okay Lee, everything is okay now" Kissing her hair he patted her back and savoured her small body against his. Once upon a time he wished that Leah was in love with him. But their friendship changed that. Jacob wanted her to be free, wanted her to have a life far from the reservation. Staying with him would be like tying her down and he wanted nothing more than for her to fly far far away.

Pushing him back against the wall, Leah hissed lowly. "_This_ is not okay Jake. You need to help me find Seth and we _need_ to leave"

"Whoa, whoa." Jacob exclaimed, holding his hands in the air as if to surrender. "I can't do that Leah. You're fucking delusional if you think-"

Taking a deep breath, Leah spoke softly and looked up at him with tears in her eyes "I love him Jake. I'm _in_ love with him."

"Damn it Leah" Jacob growled, pulling her towards his room down the hall and closing the door behind him. "It's sick. He's your brother! You're messing around with your _brother_" He snapped running a big hand through his hair.

"He's _not_ my brother Jake. He was adopted because mum and dad didn't think they could have kids, and then I was born, and then dad died and then we went to Italy, and then mum got sick and then everything happened, and then-"

Grasping Leah by the shoulder's Jacob looked into her eyes to find the truth which inadvertently stopped her rambling. "What - _exactly_ - do you mean? He's adopted?"

"Yes Jake. _Fuck - _technically mum and dad didn't even adopted him. It was just like another person living in the house. His dad died and his mum lives in Italy. He is only half Quileute, surely you must have noticed?"

"Shit Leah, shit! What the hell is my father doing then? Surely he out of everyone must know that you two aren't - _siblings_. Why would he-"

Punching Jacob in the chest she grimaced. "Because he wants us to - get married or something."

"Ewww" He replied, disgust rolling across his face.

"Screw you ass hat."

Laughing Jacob pinned her wildly failing arms to her side. "It's not you Leah. You're like my sister and there is no way in hell I would ever go there. I mean your pretty sexy for a-"

"Not helping Jake"

Rubbing a hand over his face Jacob nodded. "You're right. So what now?"

"You're going to help me?" Leah breathed in disbelief.

"No - I am going to help you, help yourself. Dad keeps the key to the shed on a twine around his neck. _You_ get that and _I'll_ get you a car."

"Thank you Jake" Leah whispered, hugging him tightly and trapping his arms by his side.

"I am so going to get my ass kicked for this. But - since you're my sister and all-"

"Shut up Jake" Leah laughed.

...

Billy sat in the lounge chair listening for the sounds of movement in the house. Jacob had given Leah his room and the boy was staying over at a friends. With Paul sitting by the front door and the back door locked, he knew the girl wouldn't be going anywhere. Sinking back into the leather recliner he huffed out a breath as he brought the glass of Jack to his lips. He savoured the sweet yet fire taste of the drink as the ice clinked in the bottom of the glass.

It had been 3 hours since he'd heard a peep from upstairs and he figured they must have all been sleeping by now. Balling his fist he inspected the grazed skin of his knuckles. It had been a while since he had been forced to take matters into his own hands. He wasn't as young and springy as he once was. Time was slowly pulling the strength from his body and leaving in it's place was a frailness he was not familiar with.

Pouring another stiff drink he kicked off his boots and lay his head back to stare at the ceiling. Letting the boy go would bring a shit storm down on the reservation. Through all the anger of wanting to find Seth and snap his neck he had almost forgotten one thing. Seth was a cop. Currently on leave but _still_ a cop. The possibility of scaring the kid into leaving Washington for good was slim. He'd seen in Seth's eyes what Leah meant to him. The punk was in love with his little Lee-Lee. The little girl who would sit in the living room playing with her dolls while he climbed atop her mother. The little girl who once painted him a painting of the deer that ran through the forest. The little girl whom he held when her father died and her mother cried.

If only Susan had left Harry for him. He knew that somehow she wouldn't have gotten sick, that he would be taking care of her now, making love to the woman who would always have his heart. He loved Sarah, she was the mother of his children, but had Susan told him she wanted to be with him, even after Harry had died and she became sick, he would not have even batted an eyelash to leave Sarah. He would have left her and his children for Susan.

He would have given her everything.

Glancing at the bottle he realised he was almost out. It hadn't taken long to suck the liquid back as he thought about the past. He remembered her always more clearly when he was drunk. Just as he was about to call out to Paul to go and get another bottle from the pantry, a sweet honeyed voice called out to him.

"Hello William" She drawled.

Snapping his head towards the door he felt his throat close and his insides light up. There she stood, alone and unscathed in the doorway. Her long black hair fell around her shoulders and back so delicately he could almost feel the whispers brushing against his skin. The short white dress she wore gave him an unrestricted look at her long bronze legs. The same legs he'd missed being wrapped around his waist or threaded through his own.

"Susan?" He gulped, blinking a few times and righting himself in the chair. Even if this was one of his ever present daydreams, he was about to make it a good one.

Running her hands across her breasts towards the hem of the dress she had found in the hallway cupboard, Leah tried her best to stay in character.

"Yes William, it's me"

* * *

AN - Now, even though I have a crush on Mr Black, I am seriously creeped out by him at the moment. Writing the next chapter is going to be... awkward, to say the least. Even more so than Seth x Leah. Thanks for all the lovely reviews and giving this story a chance XD!


	17. Chapter 17

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ XVII ]

…

_Warning: _Read with Caution

...

"Yes William. It's me"

Her voice was low and sultry, just like he'd remember. Just like every time they'd manage to sneak away and spend time together without the burden of her husband or children. Out of all the women in the world, Susan had always been a wondrous, mysterious beacon of light, that pulled him closer and closer to the cliffs of Heaven, just like a lighthouse guiding the way for lost sailors.

"You're still as beautiful as I remember" He drawled, placing his empty glass down on the coffee table. Moving his arms to the armrest of the chair he flicked his head ever so slightly, willing her closer.

Complying, Leah took a shaky step forward, one foot after the other, until her knees were pressed against his.

"Come Susy, come closer" He breathed, wriggling to straighten his back and reach out a hand to her.

Tentatively, Leah took Billy's hand and allowed him to pull her forward so she was straddling his hips. She flinched unconsciously when his hands rested against her hips and his thumbs stroked her pelvic bone. She felt the swirling ball of disgust in the pit of her stomach start to gush against her insides. Had she been the same girl she was two weeks ago she may have even slept with Billy on her own accord. He was quite a stunning man after all.

All that straight black hair, those dark brown wisdom filled eyes that seemed to hold the weight of the world, the very muscular and tight body which seemed like it should belong to a son, rather than him.

"You're afraid honey" Billy whispered as he leaned forward to place his rough lips just softly against the skin of her throat. "Don't be afraid, Sarah is sound asleep. It'll be just like old times"

With his hand running up her side and toward her breast Leah's own breath hitched. She tried to close her eyes and imagine Seth, imagine looking in to those particular warm brown eyes. The weather always changed their colour. When it was cooler out, his eyes would slowly adjust to a light hazel, as if his eyes were heating the rest of his body. In hotter months of the year, they were dark and murky, providing like a shade to all the misty people who were subject to them.

Weaving her arms around his neck, she rested her chin on his forehead as his lips lavishly crawled over her throat.

"Talk to me Susan, tell me how I make you feel. Tell me what you want -___need_"

Like a slow moving fire he brushed his palms along her thighs, pushing up the white material of the dress as he went. Her skin felt creamy and smooth along his hot palms and the pure excitement of having her in his arms again made his prick harder than the night of his honeymoon with his wife.

Leah gulped down and began whispering small words, still imagining she was in the arms of Seth. That she was against _his_ body instead. She let her mind drift off to remember the way Seth spoke, the way he pronounced certain words, the way he smiled quietly to himself when he read the cartoon section of the newspaper.

No matter who touched her - it would always be Seth in her heart. ___Always_.

...

After Billy had fallen asleep, Leah wiped her eyes quickly trying to dwell the soft flow of tears that fell. Sitting against the floor boards she had to wait a moment until she could get her barrings. She was glad that Billy had been so drunk he only lasted a few moments inside her. The foreplay had scared her most - him wanting to rub his fingers everywhere, wanting to memorise his beloved Susan again, wanting to leave his essence against her, over her, inside-

She only made it four steps out of the door before she fell to her knees and let go of what content remained in her stomach. The burn of an almost empty stomach made her heave again. Getting to her knees she quickly dashed her way down the steps and across the grass to the red shed located at the back of the property.

She made sure to be quiet, especially with Paul sitting at the front of the house to keep watch. She'd been running with a stroke of luck and thanked every heavenly being that the key that opened the shed had also been her escape out of the house. What mattered most now was that she got to Seth and that Jacob would hold up his end of the deal.

The plan had been simple. She was to get Seth and keep heading north through the woods until they came to the access road on the back of the property. There, Jacob would be waiting with transport and gathered clothes from the house, passports and the stash of cash from the kitchen cupboard. She didn't know where they would go and in fact, didn't particularly care. As long as they were far far away from this place.

The place where their childhood memories had bloomed, where they grew up, where they made friends, went to school. Two weeks ago Leah had had nothing to live for. Now, she be damned if anyone tried to take what she had away from her. Seth had brought back a fire in her heart. He had reignited that warm soft glow of love that use to constantly surround her heart. Leah always figured that one day she would leave the reservation anyway. It had changed, the people she loved most had passed, and yet she still felt a connection with the land as her bare feet trampled in the dirt.

But she knew that time would heal this memory, this nightmare. And as long as she had Seth, she knew she'd be okay. If not for only a while.

Jamming the key in the door and twisting it open, it took all her strength to push open the huge wooden barn door. The Blacks had been known for their heritage in horse breeding, but now all that sat in the barn was row after row of hay bales and empty stalls. She'd heard around the rez, that after her mother had died Billy sold all of his horses to the local market.

She'd remembered them once as a girl. Tall, black as night stallions lining the chambers of the barn. The smell of horse feed and freshly cut grass wafting through the area. Now, all the barn smelled of was dust, decay and fear.

Running blindly through the stalls, she whispered low so as only to be heard by those inside. "Seth, Seth goddamn it, where are you?"

The shuffling of loose hay resounded in her ears and she spun on the balls of her feet, running back to the source of the sound, to a stall she had already passed. Pushing it open and hearing the creak of the wood she stopped for a breath. Her heart dreaded what she would find behind the wood, but summoning the courage to do so, she pushed open the swing door and stepped inside.

The stall was dirty. Muck and hay littered on the concrete floor. A dim light that shone through the small window in the wooden wall illuminated him immediately.

"Oh no. Seth-" She blubbered as she dropped to her knees, uncaring of what disgusting substance lay there. Her hands fumbled over the thick rope that his hands had been bound with, looking for a loop and a way to untie him. He was still only in his sweatpants, small rips and tears appearing around the ankles indicating he'd been dragged. His eye was swollen shut and one side of his cheek had been split open, leaving a trail of blood to drip down his bare chest. With ribs black and blue he was seating in a sitting position, lying back awkwardly against the wall. Seth had never gone down easily and she assumed this time had been no different.

"Hang on, I'm gonna get you out of here." She cried quietly, frustration leaking through as she fought with the knots of the rope.

"Lee-" He coughed, finally coming to but still unable to fully open his eyes. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

Letting out a yelp of relief, Leah hugged him tightly without placing to much pressure around his wounds. "I'm here. I'm fine. We have to get you up, come on, we have to-"

"LEAH!" A loud voice boomed, accompanied by the violent crashing of the door against the barn wall.

She shot up immediately, searching the small stall for anything she could use as a defence. Hearing the footfalls of Paul made her heart beat in her throat. If anything was worse than being caught, it was being caught by _Paul_. After the incident in the car she doubted he would just let her walk away with Seth. He was married to the pride and joy of the family. Rachel.

Rachel was the only one out of the whole Black family that actually went away to College. She'd studied long and hard at a hot shot medical school and then come home to work and unfortunately marry Paul. Being a woman with a high priority job, Leah figure Rachel may not even have known what took place back on the property or what Paul was really like. The desperation of wanting to please Billy could be seen on Paul a mile away. A few people had even commented that Paul only married Rachel to get on Billy's good side and be closer to the Black family.

"I know you're in here you little cunt!" He spat as he threw open each stall's swing door, hurriedly making his way down, closer and closer to the couple. "When I find you, I am going to make you sorry, you trouble making whore!"

Finding a small metal shovel, Leah stood with her back to the wall beside the door, waiting for it to swing open so she could land a blow.

Seth could see barely what she was planing, but before he could say anything she placed a shaky finger to her lips to silence him.

"You and that bastard brother of yours are going to Hell and I am going to be glad to be the one holding the hammer. So why don't you just make it easier on yourself? By the way kudos to you - using ole' Black to get the key like that. Too bad I don't fall asleep to easy. I am going to make you wish you never opened those dirty legs of yours."

Leah stood in a stance position as the barn became eerily quiet. Shuffling on her feet she held the shovel high on her shoulder as if she were about to bat at a baseball. It unnerved her that she couldn't hear his footsteps, not even his breaths any more.

"Got ya"

Before she could even scream, two arms reached over, pulling her straight over the 1.2 meter high stall wall. The shovel fell back into the stall as she was ripped over the wall, the wood tearing along the skin of her back, making her cry out a pure yelp of terror. Hitting the ground felt like she'd fallen from a ten storey building. All the air in her lungs whooshed out with the hard blow and it felt like her insides had been crushed.

Blinking a couple of times, she clawed at her throat, realising she had now been pinned to the floor by Paul's bulky knee. His huge framed lingered over her as his hand came down over her mouth. He looked enraged and furious, the task of having to chase her pissing him off to no end.

"You thought that I wouldn't know you were in there with _him_? What were you doing? Sucking his fucking cock?" Smirking, he ran a thick finger down her cheek as she tried to gasp for air under his palm. "Fuck you're gorgeous." Leaning down he grinned viciously at her and reached for his belt. "Since you're giving out free shit, you might as well suck this big thick cock. Rachel is such a stupid bitch with her fucking morals and standards and this cock wants a hungry little mouth. You hungry whore? Hungry for this big ole' man meat?"

Struggling against him, Leah's eyes grew wide as he unbuckled his belt and pushed his jeans down to his hips. "No biting bitch, otherwise I'll break all those pretty little teeth"

"Hey donkey fucker" Seth hissed, the shovel held high over his shoulder. "Suck this"

In a flash, the shovel came down in a sickening blow against the back of Paul's head. His body gave out just as quickly, collapsing on the barn floor, dislodging Leah immediately.

Sucking in as much breath as she could, she back peddled against the floor and sat watching as blood poured from the man's skull. Rubbing her throat she watched as Seth fell to one knee but remained semi propped up by the shovel, his face twisting in pain as he held his ribs.

"Is he alive?" Leah managed to choke out as she crawled across the space to her brother.

"Don't care. We got to get out of here." He choked, spitting out a line of blood to the space near his knee. "Before some more of these punks rock up. It's only a matter of time."

"Can you walk?" She whispered as she brushed the hair from his eyes and kissed him softly.

"I can try. We got to get back to the house, get the car, the passports-"

"Already on it" Leah replied, helping him to his feet. "Jacob is waiting about a mile out"

Stopping her, he looked down worriedly. "Jacob? Can we fully trust him not to throw us to the wolves?"

Staring to a dark empty space she shrugged. "I don't know. But I trust him enough. He'll come through, he has never broken a promise to me Seth and I don't think he'd start now"

Thinking for a moment Seth finally nodded. "Okay" He breathed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and using her for what support he could. "Let's go"


	18. Chapter 18

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ XVIII ]

...

As promised, when Leah and Seth arrived at the service road behind the Black property, Jacob was sitting on top of the old red Chevy truck waiting for them. Leah wanted to cry out in joy seeing that big hunk of jack and Jake's face. If Seth hadn't been using her to walk she would have ran up to the big guy and kissed him hard.

"Oh shit" Jacob whispered as he slid down the hood of the car, watching as Seth hobbled towards him, Leah tucked safely under his arm using her for support. Dried blood smeared and stained his face, his torso bare of any clothing showing the extent of the beating he'd received from the rest of the guys. After the initial blows Billy let Jacob go up to the house and watch out for Leah. He'd been grateful. Once Leah had admitted the true paternity of her supposed brother, he'd left guilty for treating Seth the way he did. Jacob had always feared becoming his father, taking on the role as judge, jury and executioner in matters that did not include him. In his heart, Jacob knew his father was only trying to help guide his people, make the reservation safe for all. However, after everything, the means seemed to heavily outweigh the ends.

"Jake, help me get him inside the truck" Leah called out as she felt Seth's stride start to slow and take on an uneasy rhythm. His breathing sounded laboured and she knew he needed to rest up and have his wounds tended to. They all needed their rest. Noticing the bags in the tray she wanted to melt into the ground out of relief. She needed to get rid of this dress. It felt disgusting, tainted and scratchy against her skin.

Without a word Jacob strode to Seth's side, tucking his own arm under his and helping him towards the truck. Opening the door, Jacob helped a grunting and sweaty Seth into the cab of the car, watching as the old springs of the seat sank with the other man's weight. Before he closed the door, Seth's hand shot out to stop it.

He stared up at Jacob with a curious look, wondering why the young Black boy would be so gracious to them. He knew that he and Leah where once friends, but friends rarely ever got in the way of family. He wondered if Jacob Black had thought this through rationally or if this was simply another dead end.

"Why are you helping us?" Seth asked, his eyes drawn, awaiting an answer. Once upon a time he could barely stand the sight of Jacob. His ego in high school was far from placid and the guy changes women more often than he changed his shirt. He'd never known how his little sister and Jacob had become friends. They'd been close when they had been really young; with all the family barbecues and tribal meetings, but once they'd started high school it had all just become too hard.

Resting his palm against the side of the truck Jacob offered a shrug. "Leah's always been my friend. Even though we weren't the _la di da_ friends that everyone has and I guess expected, we were pretty close. Cliff diving, motorbikes, hunting-"

Seth interuptted with a growl "You took my sister - _cliff diving_?"

Jacob's hands shot up in an innocent gesture. "Her idea man."

"Why didn't I know about this?" Seth sighed as he rubbed his shoulder down. "We were in the same grade Jacob and you think I would have noticed if you were taking out my baby sis." Maybe he had been blind, or maybe just stupid to the fact that his little Leah had grown up without him.

"It wasn't like a date or anything bro. Plus, you were kinda busy looking after your mom with the whole cancer thing."

Seth closed his eyes tightly, have a flash of his mother blink across his eyes. "Yeah, well some demons keep on chasing us right?" After a dragging moment of silence Seth could see the confusion washing over Jacob's features. He let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed his face. In gaining Jacob's help he'd figured of course she'd told him about her-

"She's - she's sick?" Jacob breathed, looking over Seth's shoulder at Leah who was in the tray of the truck, rummaging through the bags he'd collected for a change of clothes.

"I shouldn't really be saying anything" Seth mumbled.

"She's gonna live right?" Jacob choked.

"Yeah. Long as I can help it"

...

"What makes you think Dr Cullen is going to help you? Maybe we should just-"

"No, don't" Seth chilled, grasping the steering wheel so she couldn't pull off the free way. "Keep going straight. Up to Eva-long Gardens. House 414. Big white southerner with blue window frames." He said, describing what he remembered the Cullen home looked like. At the hospital he hadn't really recognised Carlisle, his mind too busy on finding out if she was okay. But once he'd gone home he'd remembered the summer before and the shit Carlisle's adopted kids got up to.

"Does he owe you or something?" Leah asked, glancing over at Seth and trying to keep her eyes on the road at the same time.

"He owes me more than one. His kids, his three sons, I arrested them last summer."

"For?"

"Strippers and cocaine. They hired a little motel room and had themselves a grand ole bachelor party. The room was trashed and one of the dancers lodged a complaint about Edward and his wandering hands. I arrested him half an hour later and he was crying like a baby. Carlisle pleaded that Edward had gotten into one of the best college's up state and that something like that would ruin him before he even arrived. I took pity on the kid and they ended up paying the stripper to keep quiet. Of course, I pretended like nothing happened"

"Well well well - looks like Seth Clearwater isn't an angel after all" Leah smirked, placing her hand on his thigh.

"The kid seemed sorry once the alcohol and drugs wore off so - I gave him a chance. Every one deserves a chance and I wasn't going to be the one to destroy another's future. The woman agreed to take the money and drop the charges so it was kind of a win-win for everyone. If she would have pursued the charges I would have ended up taking him down to the station though-" He shrugged nonchalantly as he placed his hand over hers and threaded their fingers together.

"All around good guy right?" Leah chuckled as she turned down Boulter Avenue.

Seth smiled, pulling her hand to his lips and kissing her open palm. "You know it" He joked.

...

"Hello?" A middle aged brunette in a night slip said from the half opened door. "Can I help you?" She eyed Leah closely, before she spotted Seth standing behind her looking like he'd been in some kind of a street brawl. "Oh my- Carlisle!" She hollered back inside the house before opening the front door and ushering them in.

"Please, come in. My husband just got back from the night shift. Dear children, look at you" Helping guide Seth with Leah's help, Esme led them to a chair, placing the large man in it. "Can I ask what happened?" Her big brown eyes were filled with genuine worry and Leah cringed seeing her reflection in them.

"We ran into some trouble on the reservation. We - uhh - we can't go back. Seth was attacked and I-" Esme's eyes grew wide when her voice drifted off. She scanned the Quileute girls clothing and noticed the handful of clothes tucked under her arm. She looked a little dirty and she smelled of all things, like liquor, with white dress she wore slightly fraying at the edges. But it was the light grey, dirty hand prints that could be seen in the lighting of the house. Esme wasn't sure if the girl could even see the marks littering the dress.

"Are you - did they-" Esme stuttered, not sure on how the begin the conversation with a complete stranger.

"Leah?" Seth asked with a shaking breath. "What is she talking about?"

"Nothing" Leah said quickly, shaking her head and turning back to the brunette. "Could I use your wash room?"

Esme realised the boy had no clue what the girl was referring to and decided it best to keep playing along with her. "Of course. Come, my daughters have plenty of clothes they no longer use. They will fit much better than those pieces in your hand" She replied, nodding at Leah's clothing.

It was probably true. Leah had lost a fair bit of weight in the last couple of weeks and her clothes would probably be a size or two too big. Not wanting Seth to hear any more of the conversation she nodded silently and lent down to kiss Seth's forehead. "I'll be back soon. I'll try to find you some clothes as well."

"Okay" He nodded, running a hand threw her hair before she pulled away to follow Esme.

...

"Are you finished dear?" Esme called from the door to her daughters bathroom as she held a plush navy towel to her chest. Her hands shook a little remembering the own chain of events related to the incident with her daughter. Unlike Leah, Rosalie was distraught, destructive and absolutely hysterical. Esme had tried everything to calm her, comfort her beautiful daugther, but the only thing Rosalie was intreseted in was scrubbing her pale skin until it was bright red and cut from the force of the loofah.

"Uh - yeah" Leah called out, turning off the silver taps and stepping from the tub. Grasping the plain egg yellow towel, she wrapped it around her body and unlocked the door.

"Hi" Esme said with a small comforting grin.

"Hi" Leah replied back shyly to the well dressed, very beautiful lady of the house."Nice bathroom you have. Thanks for letting me - uh - use it"

"Thanks more than okay" The older woman shot back with a playful scoff. "I found some clothes that I think might fit"

"Cool" Leah smiled, allowing the woman to gently hold her hair up and wrap the dark navy towel around it.

After taking the clothes from the woman and changing in the bathroom she slipped back out and stood awkwardly in the door frame, looking over the woman sitting on the end of the bed. Leah watched as the woman softly rubbed against the silken sheets of the double bed. The room was nice, a little too girly for her own tastes but still nice.

"Your daughter has a nice room."

Esme smiled and nodded. "Rosie's away at Dartmouth for her final year. She probably won't be back but my husband and myself haven't had the heart to change it around."

Leah could feel the woman's eyes wandering over her and the thickness in the air was almost choking her. "Thanks again for the - uh - for letting me use the shower. I'm just gonna check on Seth and see how-"

"Wait" Esme cried out urgently, stopping her softly by placing her hand against the girls elbow. "Did you want to talk about anything?"

"Not really"

"Look I know you don't know me, but if I can help you with-. My daughter Rosalie, she - um - she was also in your situation." Esme said sadly in an attempt to have the girl open up to her.

Leah didn't answer, opting to stare at the wooden door with her arms loosely crossed.

"We could call somebody? Maybe the police? You don't have to be afraid"

"I'm not... afraid. I just - Look, as soon as your husband looks over Seth we'll be gone." Not waiting for the older woman to reply Leah grasped the door knob and headed down stairs. She knew the woman only wanted to help, but really in all honesty, what could be done? She'd done what she did to save Seth. If asked again of course she would do it, over and over if necessary.

She would do _anything_ to save him.

* * *

**AN - **Another four or so chapters to go... :(


	19. Chapter 19

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Tear me from the Inside

[ XIV ]

…

"Do you think they'll come looking for us?" Leah asked as she lay down on the bed with a mighty huff, placing the ice bucket on the motel floor.

Turning her head she lay her cheek on the soft linen of the bed and looked over at Seth who was on the phone with the airline. Her back hurt, her neck hurt and she felt as though all the muscles in her body had tensed and were conspiring against her. Seth sat in the chair, his hair still wet from showering earlier, graced only in his cotton shorts. She quirked an eyebrow wondering and trying to pin point the exact moment he turned from older brother handsome to smoking hot hottie. Maybe he'd always been ridiculously good looking or maybe it was his heart that appealed to her so much. Either way there was no going back now; every inch of damage, already done.

"I don't know Leah. To be honest, I don't think Billy Black would care for Italy" He grinned before signally her not to answer as he got up and started speaking to the travel agent who had put him on hold.

Stretching out Leah looked up at the ceiling, lifting her hair from her neck and back to sprawl it over the floral pillow. Running her fingertips along the black tresses she really truly wondered if Seth would still find her attractive without it. She'd never been one for short hair and she almost dreaded it, as if they were going to cut off her limb. In reality though, anything was better than them slicing into her chest.

Shivering at the thought, she rolled over and searched out the ice bucket without the use of sight. Grasping a single cube she rolled back flat onto the bed and slipped it into her mouth. The walls of her mouth felt tender as she chewed down on the little slice of ice which was providing some much needed relief. Her face hurt too, feeling swollen to the point of near broken and she hoped that with the ice, coupled with some pain killers from the nice doctor and sleep, that it would all soon heal itself.

"Hey" Seth whispered, as he placed the cell on the small motel side table. Clasping his hands together he lay down on his stomach to look over her. She was a woman; a beautiful woman no less and his heart swelled thinking of all the love he had yet to devour her with. In retrospect he thanked both Sue and Harry, without their self sacrificing love they would have never taken him in and he would never known how different kinds of amazing the woman lying next to him was.

"Hey yourself" Leah whispered back as she rolled to her side and propped her head up on her palm. Seth already looked so much better and she had thanked Carlisle a million times before they had left his home. His wife, Esme, was a nice woman who wanted to help in any way she could, so they allowed it, knowing that there was a chance she would have locked them in the house had they not agreed. Supposedly Esme's sister owned the established motel close to Seattle and it was perfectly located near the airport.

"Plane leaves at 5am. I got us first class tickets." He smiled, running his hand up and down her arm, watching as it left goose bumps in it's wake.

"You didn't have to do that Seth. It's too expensive. Change them back" Leah breathed, her hand winding carefully into his hair to pull him only a fraction forward. Enough to tease.

"It's my money. I do with it as I please" Seth grinned, composing a lick across his semi dry lips. He wanted to invade her senses, be with her until she stopped breathing. Be her everything. He wanted it to mean more than just words, wanted to back it up with something. A necklace. A chain. A ring. He'd held back a little – knowing it was too soon to promise her anything and everything. But time forbidding he will make sure it happens, he bet his life on it.

"I love you"

"You're a smooth talker, you know that. Real smooth" She chuckled as she brought their foreheads together, pressing down just enough to make them both needy.

"And I love you too"

…

"I don't want to get up" Seth huffed, digging his head deeper into the pillow as the alarm of his cell chimed.

He'd had a good dream, peaceful, radiant and full of his beautiful woman. They'd talked the rest of the night, hugged, kissed and stayed up probably much later than they should have. His face felt slightly better now, but the swelling would last for days, the blows he'd received had such force belonging behind them, he was amazed that more hadn't been broken.

"I brought you coffee" Leah whispered, circling the styrofoam cup several times near his nose waiting for him to perk up.

"It's the cheap kind" He grumbled back as he shifted into a new position. He could tell the coffee was cheap, it's smell and lack of aroma pegging him as soon as she'd walked back into the room. He liked to think of himself as an expert, his partner and he even receiving membership cards at the local coffee house in Forks to prove they were legit.

"I know it's cheap. Get up"  
"You're no fun." He announced, pulling her into his lap as soon as she'd placed the hot cup down. "We should stay in bed. I feel much better now"

With him nuzzling her neck and his hands roaming her stomach she couldn't help but let out a small moan. "Seth – I'd love to, really. But the plane-"

"Fuck the plane" He growled, placing quick desperate kisses along the column of her neck. "I need _you_, not the damn plane-"

His hands made quick work of her top and easily slid underneath the material to feel her in his hands. She is as warm as always and he revels in the fact that just being as close as he is, calms him. He loves her more than he ever thought possible – and dreamed possible. He and Nessie looked like a promising couple on paper but the truth of the matter was, they just didn't fit.

He didn't possess the unyielding need to be with her at all times like he did with Leah. He didn't feel whole with the red head, and with Leah, he'd finally figured out the missing puzzle piece in his life. She fit perfectly in his arms unlike Ness. They laughed, they joked, they were playful with each other. They shared secrets, they had the same history, the same colour eyes. The list went on and on showing him exactly why, Leah was perfect for him in every way.

"Take it off then" Leah whispered desperately now, as she slid her hand beneath his shorts and felt him in her hand. He was warm, silky and already half way ready for her. Giving his manhood a few appreciative slide of the hands, she couldn't help but giggle as her growled lowly into her ear.

"If you get your hand off my dick then maybe I'll be able to strip you" Seth grumbled, kissing her hard while fisting the material of her shirt in his hands. Not being one for patience, in one swift motion and a quick jerk he was able to shred the shirt; discarding it of the floor immediately.

They didn't waste anymore time, Seth flipping them both once free of clothing and lining himself between her longs legs.

"I love you Leah. I love you" He groaned as he pushed forward, bracing himself with his forearm next her head, as he guided himself deep inside her. She was tight, wet and her heartbeat was already thrumming through her chest. These were the moments he loved. The way he made her squirm to be closer, pant to be that much more connected.

"Yes Seth. Love me" Leah gasped as her fingernails clawed against his back; dragging red welt lines down his russet skin; from shoulders to waist.

…

After several flight re-books, an almost 10 hour plane trip and a case of stiff legs, they finally touched down on Italian soil.

Seth laughed as he watched Leah excitedly gather up what items she'd brought at the Duty free shop before they'd left. She bounced on the balls of her feet waiting for the standing queue in the plane to move and he could tell she was about to pass out from the excitement.

"Calm down" He whispered in her ear, taking her bags from her hands and wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her from running like a horse out of the gates.

"Calm down?" She scoffed, looking back at him with a playful sneer. "This is Italy. No one is calm. I can't wait to see Venice again. Will you take me? _Please_?"

"Tomorrow" He breathed, kissing the top of her head and moving her down the isle as the line progressed slowly "Venice will still be there tomorrow"

After an hour long cab ride and twenty minutes waiting to be booked in, they finally arrived at their hotel suite. It was fancy. Much more extravagant than the last time they'd been. Leah was still worried about the costs and Seth had to re-assure her once again that he was the boss of his money and if he wanted to spend every cent on her he would.

She told him he was being an idiot but gave in once room service arrived. Baby spinach and feta salad tossed with black olives and red peppers with a side of salmon and roasted garlic fritters was all Leah could think about once the cart was pushed through the door and the silver lid peeled off.

She felt like a pig eating it all like she hadn't eaten for days and had even offered Seth some - multiple times, only to be shrugged off multiple times. Instead he sat watching her, leaving messages for a Doctor Peter Gills every twenty minutes to see if he was free to met. Dr Gills was the only doctor in the world trialing the new less invasive surgery and was their chance at creating a happy ending.

It was going to work. It had to.

* * *

AN - That was pathetically short *sighs* Where for art thou 'muse'?


	20. Chapter 20

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Tear me from the Inside

[ XX ]

…

"Come on Lee. We need to get going," Seth whispered as he bent down toward the bed looking over his very own sleeping beauty. Crouching, he kissed her cheek and brushed some of the wild black hair away from her face, half of it buried against the stark white pillow.

She'd always looked so peaceful as she slept, like a child in so many aspects with parted lips, a small pout and unbelievably long lashes; which would brush the tops of her cheeks. It was a strange sight as nothing about her screamed child, especially when she opened those flickering hazel eyes and smiled. She was more woman than she'd ever been - her hips full leading down to those long lean and powerful legs, her breasts round with maturity most females her age didn't possess and most of all, her undeniable beauty as a person.

"Baby," he nudged again as a light content smile crossed his face. It amused him to watch her squirm and puff in annoyance.

It felt surreal being back here in Italy after so long, with Leah by his side once again. Having risen earlier he'd called ahead to a small restaurant and booked a table hoping to fit in a sound lunch after the doc's appointment before heading back to the hotel. He'd also let several calls from his mother go through to his voice mail, not particularly ready to see her again or deal with the drama, as he coincidentally dealt with the drama's which came with his own life.

Last time they'd visited Florence he'd left Leah sulking in the hotel after their heated argument and made the short trip to Fiesole, his father's birthplace, a small town located not to far from the city; a short twenty minute car ride at most.

It seemed strange to Seth that his biological mother would stay in the same vicinity as his biological father had, even after they'd decided to no longer pursue the relationship that had ended with a bastard child they'd given up for adoption.

When he'd visited, he'd been thrown into the mist of chaos, realising at the last minute that his mother was actually _living_ with his father's family.

His mother's explanation had been that after his father had died in a motorbike accident she didn't have the heart to leave Philipa, his grandmother, to her own devices. Having already lost a husband twenty years prior, leaving would have left her all alone in the big stone brick house. His father's brothers and sisters lived in the immediate area but Philipa had jumped immediately to the idea of his mother keeping her company. Philipa apparently had a soft spot for his mother.

Years had passed and the two women still lived in the big house, both as content as ever. The drama that involved her wasn't exactly a drama to be exact but rather that the moment his grandmother saw him all those years ago, she knew straight away Seth was her grandchild.

Not exactly the perfect way to find out your young dead son and his equally young Native American girlfriend had given away a child in secret.

"Humph," Leah mumbled as she turned away from his fiddly fingers and clutched her pillow tighter. She didn't want to get up, let alone go to see the doctor that could ultimately deliver the best or the worst news she could ever hear. It was cosy in the bed, the mattress soft and doing wonders for her back. She wondered if the hotel minded if she took the mattress with her once they found an apartment, surely, considering they had about two thousand other rooms, they wouldn't even notice.

Feeling Seth's warm hand brush over the skin between her shoulder blades made her spine shudder in pleasure. Never had she been so comfortable with a man's touch. Every time she had tried to tie herself to a male, he irrevocably let her down. One failure after another. But with Seth it was different; it was like everything made sense, everything he did he did without malice or out of jealousy. He wasn't greedy with her and in fact, he was the most giving man she had ever met.

"Babe?"

Hearing his slightly amused tone made Leah's lips tug up into a smirk "Ten more minutes, I swear. I'll be up in ten more minutes," she mumbled sleepily, stretching out her long body before drawing it back in to a fetal position.

"You know we need to be there on time. Dr Gills is a very busy man and we want to spend as much time with him as possible. Plus we have reservations for lunch."

Leah could feel the desperation in his voice and for affect she let out a dramatic sigh as she turned toward him, her sleepy eyes meeting his. Reaching out she gently stroked his cheek with the back of her hand, loving how his eyelids fluttered from her touch. His jaw slowly softened and she couldn't help but smile at the wet hair that hung before his eyes having indicated he'd just stepped from the shower. Pity.

His skin still felt hot from the water and his scent seemed to be magnified from the clean freshness of the running water. "You're lucky you're so pretty," she grinned, leaning across the white and cream embroidered sheets to touch her lips to his. His lips were warm like always, his breath hot and minty. Wrapping an arm around the back of his neck she allowed her fingers to play with the wet mess of hair on the nape of his neck, running and tugging her fingers through it like a comb.

Letting out an unappreciative groan Seth used all his strength to pull away from her, only to cup her face in return and pluck a long eyelash which rested upon her cheek. Glancing at it in his fingers he moved his hand toward her plump lips.

"Damn right I'm pretty. Make a wish"

Glancing into his dark coffee eyes Leah propped herself up on to an elbow and pushed out her lips in anticipation. Closing her eyes slowly, she lightly blew against the tips of his fingers while simultaneously making her wish. When she opened her eyes again, the fallen lash was long gone and all that was left was a goofily grinning Seth.

Straightening up he held out a hand for her to take. Pulling her from the bed languidly he chuckled as he eyed her scrunched up cotton top and skull covered pajama pants. She was adorable in every shape and form and knowing what she held under the crumbled clothes made his blood run hot.

"Did you make a wish?" He drawled pulling her hips forward softly as he kissed and mumbled into her silky soft hair. She'd made no hesitation in making the wish like normal person would have and he was dying to know what it was.

"Yeah," Leah grinned, pressing her face into his slightly damp shirt knowing that he always had a tendency to not dry himself off properly. The feel of his cotton shirt under her finger tips made her dizzy with lust and the last thing she wanted to do was leave their room. If she could have it her way, she would have never left him and lay with him forever.

"What did you wish for?"

"If I tell you, it won't come true," She chuckled back as she ran her hand up and down the base of his spine; tempted to just pull his shirt off and have him walk around shirtless all day, with him _and_ his wonderful body.

Her mother had always made them wish against fallen lashes when they were children. At the time they'd both been so eager and bursting with beans to reveal to her what the wish was about until she shook her head and told them that wishes only came true if you wished it from your heart and _never_ told a soul. They both remember intimately sitting on the kitchen bench watching her cook, in her bright blue apron and telling them the story, amazement and awe crossing both their young faces.

They'd loved her so deeply; by having each other and just being together it made everything feel as if it were destiny in some sense. Something having been forged in stone. Something between them that would thrive and in return remember her and her selfless gift of bringing them together, always.

"Alright. Keep your secrets then," Seth pouted, slipping his hands to her back and pulling her impossibly closer. Her skin was warm, her scent smelling of roast hazelnuts from having eaten them in bed the night before. He had no doubt that there were still hazelnuts mingled in with the blankets, even after they'd stripped the bed and re-arranged it twice over.

"Don't pout honey," Leah laughed pressing her full lips to his and slipping out of the embrace.

Grasping a clean towel from the cupboard and handling one of the backpacks in tow, she turned her chin to her shoulder and grinned at him in a teasing matter. "Too bad you've already showered," she remarked suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows in his direction.

Squealing, Leah shut and locked the door behind her before Seth could barrel his way through, his hand reaching the handle just as she flicked the latch.

"No fair! You're such a tease"

"Behave yourself Mr Clearwater. Otherwise there will be no rewards for you later," she called out through the door, setting the bag and towel down in the basin once she heard his footsteps and the sound of his back hitting the bed.

Pulling back the curtain and reaching for the metal wrung she heard the distinct vibration off something in the room. It was like a rhythmic hum and it reminded her of a-

"Shit," she mumbled as she reached in to pull and move the items in the bag, shifting them to find the phone she had left in there. Her heart pounded with both anticipation and fear. She wanted to desperately know who was on the other end of the call, especially since she'd only given the number to a few people she trusted. Finally locking her fingers around the black device, the illuminated screen suddenly cut out and the vibration stopped immediately.

Damn it, she'd missed the call.

Unlocking the device and scrolling through the missed calls she felt her blood run ice cold through her veins. A few message screens popped from the device waiting to be read. Biting the corner of her lip Leah first pressed her ear to the door to listen out for Seth before turning and flicking on the taps so he wouldn't knock and ask her what she was doing.

_Call me. It's important _

_Is there a reason why you can't contact me? _

_Billy told me what happened, how he made you do things. Call me please Lee. I can help. _

Her hands shook as she slowly scrolled through the messages Embry had left for her and judging from the time stamp the messages ranged from the moment just before Billy had pulled up to the house to no longer than three hours ago.

Hearing the shrill sound of the phone ring, Leah's heart convulsed making her almost drop the cell in to the running shower water. Staring at the phone she contemplated just letting it ring out and ditching the sim as part of her new life. No matter how much she wanted to run away though, she knew she couldn't. Some part of her knew Embry deserved an explanation, and in all truthfulness she wanted him to know. He was a friend to her when she had needed him most.

"Hello?"

"Jesus Christ Leah. I don't know how many times I've called you. Are you alright? Where are you? Let me come get you, see you-"

"Wait Embry," she sighed as she took a seat on the edge of the tub.

Running a hand through her messy hair she bounced the ball of her foot against the tiles, a nervous trait her mother had passed down to her.

"Wait?" Embry huffed, his deep voice grumbling through the line, "I'm going to kill him when I get my hands on him. I knew it couldn't be true, I fucking knew it. I knew you wouldn't do those things with him and I knew you wanted to be with _me_. I should have protected you, should have never let him leave with you that night. Fuck, it was all so clear. How long has he been doing this to you Leah?"

"I'm in love with him, Embry. And I'm really sorry for leading you on. You didn't deserve that."

"In. love?" Embry spluttered, sounding like he'd just coughed up an internal organ. Lowering his voice his lips came closer to the receiver, "Leah, I know he's been telling you things, lying to you, making you believe that you belong to him. You're a possession to him Leah, he's brainwashed you into something he wants you to be"

Shaking her head, Leah answered back into the phone as a sudden wetness clouded her eyes, "That's not true. You don't know him Embry. He loves me too"

"He's your brother for fuck sake. How can you not see this is wrong," he yelled in frustration, Leah picturing him pulling at the ends of his hair, "How can you not see _I_ love you. More than him - more than he _ever_ could"

"You're wrong Embry, you don't even know me. Not the real me. Seth has loved me since forever and I trust him"

"Do you not trust me? I thought we had-"

"You'll find the one for you, Embry, you will. You'll find her and you'll be just fine. I know this was all so sudden and all such a shock but you have to know that if – that if. Never mind. I'll always love you Embry, just not the way you want me to. You were good to me even when I didn't deserve it. You deserve better Em, so much better. I know this is hard but you have to forget about me - about the 'us' that could never be."

"You think it's going to be that easy for me Leah? You think I'm going to just forget about you? That I'm just going to wake up tomorrow and have no memory of you, of how you promised me things - your love?"

Wiping at her cheeks with the back of her hand Leah sobbed quietly at Embry's words, knowing she'd fucked up so much more than her own life, "I'm so sorry Em. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Hearing a soft knock on the bathroom door she sniffled up the rest if her sadness and cupped the cell, "I have to go but I really want you to know - how much you've meant to me Embry - how much you _still_ mean. In the end though, it's just, not enough"

"_No_ Leah, no. Don't you dare hang up this phone, Leah, _Leah_?"

Dismissing his words Leah glanced down at the cell phone and twirled it in her fingers. Rolling her bottom lip through her teeth she reached for the end call button and closed her eyes to press down and end it; possibly the last conversation she'd ever have with her one and only friend.


	21. Chapter 21

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Tear me from the inside

[ XXI ]

"I don't understand," Leah muttered as Seth squeezed her hand in his own, all three of them inspecting the scan on the light board.

Dr Peter Gillis nodded in understanding and placed his finger to the darkened shadow on the picture, circling it slowly. "The scan shows us two things," he explained through his heavy British accent. "The darkened area is the tissues affected. Now if you look at the scans taken by your American hospital a month ago, the mass size is identical."

"That doesn't make sense," Seth frowned as he ran his eyes from one scan to the other. "They said it was going to move too quickly, that it was too fast to catch."

"They _were_ right," the doctor announced. "However, at this very moment the cancerous cells are in limbo. They have overrun the tissue of the breast and are now sitting in wait."

"And what are they waiting for exactly?" Leah asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. She felt naked in front of the doctor, as if in seeing the scan, he could see through her clothes and skin.

"They're strategising. Picking out the next best place to make a home. The next easiest target."

Leah bit her lip as she looked up at Seth who was intently listening and taking in all of the information.

He had been there for their mother, in most ways took care of the questions and the forms required by the health insurer when their mother was too tired or hurt too much from the radiation therapy. Between driving their mother to appointments, back and forth from different hospitals, he still made sure everything within the home was taken care of as best as he could. Leah had forgotten that Seth lost someone too. Had forgotten that while she was crying because she didn't have a mother; that Seth was crying because he was now her caretaker.

At twenty he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and the responsibility of a life in his hands.

"Is this good news or bad news?" Seth frowned as he rubbed a hand over his neck. The room felt too small, the air too thick. What he really wanted to do was take up Leah's offer of staying in bed all day. They could talk, whisper, make love. That's what he really needed. He needed her in every sense of the word.

"This," Dr Gillis grinned, "is great news. This means we can start the intermediate treatments within the next month. I'll need you first to be on a course of Abraxane IV and Docetaxel, drugs which will both make sure the cancerous cells do not activate and begin moving again. Once your course is finished we can move onto the next stages."

Leah shivered as she felt Seth's arm reach around her waist and his body heat press into her side. "So no surgery?"

"If we time it exactly right, you will be correct. No surgery."

It took them another hour of the nurses showing them both how to administer the medications and the doses required each day. Leah cringed feeling the clean prick of the needle slide into her arm and felt lucky Seth would be helping her self-medicate.

He kissed her forehead and whispered words of encouragement as he sat and watched the nurses demonstrate the correct technique for the injection. Leah was glad that the only side effects would be nausea and the loss of her period. It felt like it was the first time she could actually breathe since her diagnosis. And of all people, she had Seth by her side.

...

"You okay?" Seth grinned as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder.

Nodding with a small smile Leah closed her eyes and allowed her weight to rest back against his wide chest. His hands were warm as they softly brushed against her jacket, playing with the hem of her shirt on the inside. The breeze ruffled silently around them as they stood quietly, soaking in the lasting rays of the days sunlight.

"Are you feeling dizzy? Here, maybe we should sit-"

"No." Leah breathed, clutching Seth's forearms so he couldn't move away from her. "I want to stay right here. Just like this."

Opening her eyes Leah watched as the bright orange sun touched the horizon of water. It was truly a magically sight, watching as the huge fiery beast looked as though it was being extinguished by the dark, shimmering water. With the sun slipping away, the chill of the night began to creep toward them, and though comfortable, they knew they would have to head inside soon enough.

"I was thinking," she sighed, tilting her head to look up at him. "I want to meet your mother."

Seth's body stiffened immediately behind her, his arms flexing before automatically slumping in defeat. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea," he frowned as he buried his face in her hair, shaking his head.

"Not a good idea for who?" Leah asked quietly as she turned in his arms. "Seth, you should see her. I'm sure she'd be happy to see her handsome son."

"Flattery is going to get you nowhere," he smiled as he caught the hand she was using to stroke his face. Kissing her palm gently, he moved down to her wrist, kissing the bare skin there before then moving back to her palm. "You smell amazing. We need to go."

"Aren't you hungry?" she asked as they laced hands and began the short walk back to the hotel. "We should stop and get something."

"No," Seth growled a little, "We can order room service. I need you now."

Leah laughed as he pulled her along, stopping every now and then to kiss her and stroke the back pockets of her jeans before painfully squeezing the backs of her thighs.

"Seth," Leah croaked, her lips swollen, her back against the glass of the elevator which was heading up to the room.

"What?" he hummed desperately as he nipped, licked and kissed her neck.

Running her hands through his hair she breathed out. "Slow down. Please."

Immediately Seth pulled away cupping the side of her face. "Are you okay? Sorry, I wasn't thinking, we should-"

Kissing him softly, Leah controlled the kiss so it was slow, sensual and at a rhythm she could keep up with. "I'm fine. And we have all night so there is no rush okay?" Running her hands over his shoulders she smiled. "I'm not going anywhere, Seth."

"Me either," he whispered as he nibbled on her bottom lip before sucking it back into his mouth.

...

The mood felt different. Instead of ripping and shredding their clothing, both took their time to explore.

Seth found a tiny scar behind Leah's knee and pressed his mouth to it. He found a scatter of freckles on her shoulder blade, a beauty spot on the bottom of her back, another scar swapped for another kiss.

Leah found a star shaped burn on Seth's ribs, a bruise on the back of his bicep, a beauty spot at the base of his neck, a scar over his hip and a freckle on the tip of his ear.

Wrapped tightly around him and sinking down against him, Leah touched his shoulders, rubbing and clutching her fingers along his spine.

Letting out a shuddering breath, Seth grasped her hips to stop her from moving. He needed a minute. Just a minute to catch his breath. A minute to collect his thoughts.

"I love you," she whispered into his ear, holding his head towards hers and settling a little lower on her knees.

"Fuck," Seth groaned as she bit down on his earlobe and pressed her bare body tighter against his.

"So very much," Leah added as she rotated her hips and pressed her knees to her outside of his thighs.

Leaning back she allowed him enough space for his mouth to leave marks on her collar bone and his hands to stroke the undersides of her breasts.

She still tasted sweet, of sweat and lilies. Today's revelation that they had found a therapy that just might work was not lost on him. If he wasn't so stunned he would have kissed the doctor. His heart rejoiced and wanted to scream from rooftops while a slither bitterly berated the treatment being six years too late for the woman he'd called his mother.

Holding her tightly, he drowned himself in her. In the feeling of being so close to her, in the feeling of having her, in the feeling of loving her so much more than he ever thought possible.

With nothing but the sound of laboured breathing, they spent the night unafraid.


End file.
